Money: Today, I noticed I've been an Amazon Prime member for 2 years... - FML

By storyteller - 04/10/2016 16:29 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I noticed I've been an Amazon Prime member for 2 years and never knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 409

You deserved it 3 620

Vulture

Broken heart

Hiding from the drama

By Duped - 27/11/2009 08:09 - United States

Today, I received the sweetest love letter from my boyfriend after having a bad day. After gushing about it and reading it to my friends, they said it reminded them of a letter that they'd seen online. He got it from a fill-in-the-blank love letter generator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 423

You deserved it 5 480

Once you see it…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 16:02

Today, it was brought to my attention that my dog has a giant anus. I'd never noticed. Now I can't stop staring at his silver dollar-sized backdoor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 278

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 15:36 - Afghanistan - Kabul

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 718

You deserved it 48 405

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 316

By owew - 09/12/2010 05:33

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 030

You deserved it 5 174

By Goody2shoes - 21/07/2010 16:08 - India

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 757

You deserved it 47 056

By Anonymous - 30/12/2008 11:16 - France

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 278

You deserved it 3 746

By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 235

You deserved it 2 662

By Not turnt - 27/07/2015 19:12 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 556

You deserved it 2 572

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 02:46 - France

Today, I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend who is going out with someone else. But at least I now know that he's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 578

You deserved it 4 345

Oh no, not you

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 00:01

Today, I had no idea my dad and my fiancé's dad are old enemies, until we brought our families together for the first time since we met and COVID rules were relaxed. Long story short, there was a brawl, lots of drinking, a destroyed back garden and we’re not engaged anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 68

By John - 19/11/2011 17:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 5 101

By me - 16/12/2010 15:29

Today, I thought it would be funny to hide behind the ice machine at work and jump out randomly and scare people. This resulted in my first victim whacking me in the head with a skateboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 593

You deserved it 62 306

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 841

You deserved it 65 591

By sicky - 27/01/2016 05:02 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I learned that I have a sinus infection, ear infection and bronchitis so bad it was on the verge of pneumonia. My work won't let me call in sick. I work with kids. Lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 319

You deserved it 1 407

By AreYouSerious - 16/09/2018 22:00

Today, after working 85 hours in a single week, I finally got my paycheck. $500. Apparently I got a pay cut without anyone telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 062

You deserved it 149

By Invisible - 15/06/2017 22:00

Today, I realized how little my husband, son and I mean to my in-laws. We were somehow left off the distribution list for my sister-in-law's birthday party. I even texted her to wish her well. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't the fifth consecutive family event we were left out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 757

You deserved it 310

By DoesNotLikeCubes - 06/07/2009 20:08 - Qatar

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 562

You deserved it 10 983

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 156

You deserved it 53 692

Smells like victory

By Tcake - 19/05/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 144

You deserved it 7 827

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 04:00

Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 295

By UH-OH - 15/03/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk-rock guy on a plane. I tried impressing him by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked on The Who and opened a large window with the album cover so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was faced with a giant picture of Miley Cyrus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 686

You deserved it 117 396

By go choke on a gonad - 08/08/2013 13:13 - United States - Dayton

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 192

You deserved it 5 572

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 1 966

By alphabetman - 14/09/2009 09:56 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 863

You deserved it 6 763

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 409

You deserved it 3 898

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 195

You deserved it 9 946

By can't breathe - 22/11/2010 11:33 - Australia

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 393

You deserved it 3 953

By Anonymous - 03/11/2014 15:54 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 995

You deserved it 3 622

By overpriced coffee shop worker - 17/11/2012 18:35 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 053

You deserved it 2 282

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 13:30 - United States

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 768

You deserved it 3 471

By idiot - 30/10/2010 20:42 - France

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 5 839

Mindfullness

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be alright, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 268

You deserved it 6 006

By james88 - 07/01/2013 21:39 - United States - Altoona

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 532

You deserved it 37 656

By housepoor - 07/07/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 690

You deserved it 14 182

By Biggie - 12/05/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 717

You deserved it 12 870

By pandaboo - 29/07/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 177

You deserved it 3 767

By embarrassed - 11/11/2011 15:17 - Canada

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 598

You deserved it 124 013

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 769

You deserved it 3 519

Slimed

By Hashtagfail - 04/08/2021 10:01 - Netherlands

Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 280

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:23

Someone forgot to end their free trial.

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:24

You think you were just giving Amazon an annual $99 tip for just being awesome?

Comments

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:23

Someone forgot to end their free trial.

RichardPencil 30

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:24

You think you were just giving Amazon an annual $99 tip for just being awesome?

Doctor_HooLock 10

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 20:15

It's actually like $170 now

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Thursday 6 October 2016 5:31

Is it? I'm locked into like 50 bucks for student.

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Thursday 6 October 2016 9:05

actually it's $107 after tax I was just billed

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:51

Just contact customer service and ask if they could just give you the money back. I know that some might say that it's your own fault and they shouldn't have to refund you, but it was a simple mistake and you didn't actually use their prime services so I think it's fair. And trust me, they would refund you. Their customer service is really good and the employees understand these situations and don't see everything as black and white. I usually talk to them via chat. Plus, you having proof that you didn't use their prime service (I'm assuming) for 2 years would help.

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 12:20

Yes this, they are very understanding people, one time my rental textbook got lost in the mail and I was charged with a late fee so I contacted them with chat and the lady was very nice and was able to revoke the late fee charge as well as stopping another late fee to the book.

smallandroid 26

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 16:55

Once I had a (prime) package that was delayed, but the tracking information still said it was suppose to arrive yesterday. I called to see what was up, just so I could know when I need to be home to get it, and they gave me an extra month of prime for free because it was delayed! It's always worth giving them a call. Even if they can't completely refund you, maybe they'll extend your current membership for free or something. Then you can take advantage of what you unknowingly paid for!

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 21:36

I had the free trial and forgot to end it but I just talked to them and since I hadn't used it they gave me a complete refund

KittieTetaz520 15

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:54

Either you're too wealthy to notice on your bank statement or you just don't check your bank statement.

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 14:21

I know I try to avoid my bank statements. I should probably really stop doing that.

Rykers 18

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 10:05

Surely after 2 years you'd notice a strange amount going out of your bank account every month?

shortcake563 21

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 12:50

amazon prime is a one time payment once a year for $99

MisstressNicole 20

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 18:02

You can pay monthly for Prime too. I believe its 8.99 a month. So slightly more a year.

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 10:47

Maybe it's because I'm poor, but how the hell do you not pay attention to your bill?

ItnHmn 26

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Thursday 6 October 2016 20:55

Honestly, the money I pay for Prime is easy to overlook... and I've done so. I generally have an idea of where my bill should be in a cycle, but I might miss a $99 charge once yearly. Hell, I just shelled out $500 for tax amendments, $800 for hotel, and $1400 for bar prep, so I might miss a $99 diff. I mean, I do run spot checks but I rarely track every dollar because I dont have to. I occasionally run fill audits though, just to keep credit cards honest.

AwesomeAsylum 18

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 13:58

This post just saved my life, I had 3 days left on my free trial and completely forgot about it

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 14:21

Amazon Prime is very useful around Christmas time. I started my trial in the beginning of December and ended it before January. I would continue to use if it was a monthly subscription or if I shop often.

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 17:00

Whenever you sign up for a free trial, end it immediately. You can almost always still use the rest of the trial period without forgetting about it and getting an auto charge.

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Wednesday 5 October 2016 17:33

Well fuck you too, OP. Flaunting your finances at us.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 12

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 908

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 177