By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 20:26 - United States - Houston

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 62 734
You deserved it 18 290

Same thing different taste

Top comments

ileenefudge 29

Why make a scene? Were you assuming she would say yes just because everyone was looking at her? I'd be embarrassed too, because that's just asking for trouble in my opinion and if she says no(which she did) then people make her out to be cruel and heartless.

In my humble opinion, no proposal should ever be rejected because everyone who proposes should be DAMNED SURE the answer will be "yes". If you aren't absolutely positive, don't do it.


Maybe she just isn't ready yet. Still, that's horribly embarrassing.

2 years isn't long enough and I heard of people getting engaged within 3 months.

Damian95 16

Sometimes people just aren't ready for big decisions. She didn't have to be rude about it though.

xStaciexLynnx 15

#60- "Long enough" is a matter of opinion. People are ready at different times.

I know. She seems kinda bitchy though because she rejects him and then shes the one who's embarrassed about it.

acerredrum 23

She is probably embarrassed because he got everyone's attention before hand and they are most likely glaring at her now.

Time to dump her and find someone better.

89, why is it that so many people like you say "dump him/her and find someone better"? Can't you consider the fact that she may not have been ready? Or maybe she's just afraid of commitment? Or maybe she was simply embarrassed with the fact he asked her in a public place?

94, she's too much of a coward to go through with marriage and wasted 2 years of op's life. Clearly not the person worth being in a relationship with.

But 95, that's just your opinion. In your eyes, you see her as the problem when in fact it very well could have been OP's fault. Not saying that it is OP, but from what I'm getting from this FML, I'm guessing that he never brought up the concept of marriage before hand.

89 / 95, there could be many reasons as to why the girlfriend declined the proposal. Maybe they have issues that the girlfriend wants resolved before she makes that committment with OP, maybe marriage was not something she thought about yet, etc. You don't know the whole story, and for you to tell the OP to just dump her straight off is a bit ridiculous. OP obviously loves her and hopes to be with her for the rest of his life; maybe she just needs more time before she is ready to say yes.

vegeta77 4

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Being afraid of commitment can sometimes make people do weird things. She probably regrets the way she acted, but not saying no. Just give her some more time and try to make her comfortable with the idea of marraige.

meherm 11

Some people are together for 10 year before even thinking about marriage. It's a big step in someone's life! It definitely shouldn't be taken lightly.

You can't be with someone for 2 years and not at least like them if not love them. Just wait until she is ready and propose again but first talk about it and see how she feels about marriage

wackybulldog 9

But isn't two years a long time?

spartangrl 6

@187 I've been with my bf for 2 years and there's no way I'd marry him right now. I want to finish school first and get a full time job. luckily for me we talk about the future and I know he'd never propose to me like this until he was sure I was ready.

MsFML_ 16

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morganrules123 10

Because she didn't want to marry him?

ileenefudge 29

I don't agree with this. Why be an ass when he set himself up to be embarrassed and he embarrassed her in the process? She doesn't have to say yes just because people are watching them.

rikitsumiatsu 11

He didn't set himself up to be embarrassed he belived that she loves him like he loved her. He thought it would be a beautiful moment and he was wrong. O god forbid a man wants to try to make a good memory of proposing.

MzZombicidal 36

I'm sorry, but he should act immaturely because she said no? How rude. Oh, this woman didn't do what I wanted her to do, better screw her over! I hate when people just want to "get even" with anyone who doesn't do what you wanted them to do. Maybe she's not ready for marriage or just doesn't want to get married at all. Don't blame the lack of communication on her alone.

ileenefudge 29

That's fine that he wants to make it a good memory, but making a scene in a restaurant? C'mon. That is embarrassing. If he was with her for 2 years then he should know what she is comfortable and what is not. If he wanted to make something like that work, then he should have been absolutely sure they were on the Same level and maybe done it quietly amongst themselves then announced it after she said yes, if she would've said yes. Would have saved him from the embarrassment of being denied the proposal, her the embarrassment to being put in the position of everyone, including him, assuming she would say yes because everyone was watching them, and why make a scene in a restaurant anyways? It's not a good way to start or end a romantic evening.

People always seem to think a girl wants to be proposed to with the whole world watching. Values have changed. Not every girl wants to get married or thinks commitment needs a wedding, a ring, and a contract to be real. I am one of those women. I would be embarrassed if the person I was with just assumed I would want to marry him without discussing it with me. Not because the idea of marriage is offensive, but that someone who loved me would not want to hear what I had to say. It sounds like Op is not ready for marriage if he did not bother to discuss the situation with his girlfriend. Marriage takes communication and this sounds like--no matter how romantic he wanted to be--he could not be bothered to bring up the discussion.

AnonForAReason 11

Yes, let's resort to childish revenge because life doesn't give us what we want. What a great way to live.

This isn't a bad idea. She screwed over OP so he should screw her back. It's called justice. And a refused proposal is far worse than paying the bill for one night....

Agree 100% with you 62, communication is key. Proposing without discussing marriage first is a disaster waiting to happen, as OP clearly found out.

ileenefudge 29

So saying no because you are not ready for marriage is now considered screwing someone over #96? Interesting...I don't know about you but if I'm not ready for marriage or not 100% that I really want to be with someone for the rest of my life, I am NOT saying yes. Doesn't matter if its private or public. And she doesn't have to say yes, nor is she obligated to just because they have been together for 2 years.

dmattimeoj 12

@ 96 that's not called justice. that's called being petty and immature. if you did something like that the girl would be totally right to refuse your proposal because you cleary would not be ready for marriage.

wait... so HE planned a big proposal and HE made a scene and HE neglected to think about her feelings in the matter... and *she* screwed him over? #96 you are wrong and a jerk. HE screwed HIMSELF over

MsFML_ 16

Wow, I was joking. My mistake for not inferring it! Yeah, I agree he set himself up and he should've talked to her. But, she could've reacted a different way. That's what I was trying to imply, my mistake. (:

That's always the most convenient answer, "I was being sarcastic."

I was just kidding when I punched you in the face and took my tire iron to all your car's windows. I didn't really mean it, I swear!

MsFML_ 16

If I wasn't being sarcastic, I wouldn't have said that.

If I wasn't being sarcastic, I wouldn't have said that.

What, so she should have said yes even though she doesn't want to marry him? Something about what you said is very, very wrong.

meggieeee92 15

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It's horribly embarrassing for both parties involved. Of course it's crushing for him, but with everyone watching like that she was made out to be the bad guy just because she didn't say yes. He really should have made sure they were on the same level before doing this..

Only 2 years and he was making a life commitment? Should wait 3-5 years, so YDI. ;)

Depends how he "made a big scene" but either way it is embarrassing for both parties. When a woman says no to a public proposal, she's basically called a bitch and told she is heartless.

Sounds like to me he wanted everyone's attention to kind of push her towards saying yes. Which is why it was embarrassing for her, because she just turned someone down and probably ruined their day with a whole load of eyes on her, when she just wasn't ready for a commitment. If he's embarrassed then he deserves it for getting everyone's attention in the first place.

mrperspire 4

Exactly. I hope she likes the next proposal, it wont be so romantic. So as not to embarrass her.

vegeta77 4

Yeah, just fart and say lets get hitched.

Wow that's just about the definition of awkward.

Awkward; (adj.) hard to do or deal with

Proposing in public: hard to do Declining said proposal: hard to deal with So yep, I'd say that's pretty much the definition of awkward then.

Two years isn't that long. And besides, you should always make sure it's not overdramatic in case she says no. Now, both of you are embarrassed.

Two years isn't that long? Really? My wife and I had been dating for almost exactly 2 years when I proposed, and 15 years later we're still very much together. The time dating isn't nearly as important as getting to know the person thoroughly so you know if you're truly compatible.

Time doesn't matter. I married my wife the next day I met her. It has been a week and we are both happy and in love. Tomorrow we are going to try and have kids. Life is short when you're a cat.

Two years is long enough to know if you could tolerate the person for the rest of your lives.

50, not always. I lived with my ex for three of the seven years we were together. It took a long time for me to realize what a lazy, entitled slime he was, and I'm just grateful we didn't get married after two years, when I was still in lust with him.

amayasoma 19

Time depends on the person. My friend and her husband only dated for five months before getting married. They been married for five years now and very much in love. My boyfriend and I been together for two years and talking about marriage. OP should have discussed it with her first.

#39 I can totally agree with u on this matter :D

lets see, I've been married two years. he proposed at 8 months. hmmm. yeah, no one can judge how ready a couple is by how long they've been together. sometimes you know right away, sometimes you spend hours on the phone talking and get to know each other better than you know anyone else... and sometimes people just don't want to get married at all

Idk, maybe I just find the whole commitment thing scary so thats why it seems like a short time to me. It is nice to hear that it works out for people though.

gabe222 25

Just proposed to my fiance after close to two and a half years of dating... Got on one knee in a restaurant, didn't make a scene even though I knew she was going to say yes... Heck only 3 other tables saw me do it out of a jam packed restaurant. I have no sympathy for OP... No one likes an attention *****.

gabe222 25

Incorrect, she loves me and me only. Yes, I can be an asshole, but in this case, he made a scene to get peoples attention. That's a lot more different then just winging it and hoping people take notice of your actions. Like I said, I did not feel the need to get everyones attention when I proposed.

50- no, not necessarily. My mum is in the process of divorcing the guy she started seeing 8 years ago. They dated for 2 or 3 years before moving in together and have been living together ever since, but it took this long for them to realize they really aren't a good couple. They're to the point now where he thinks she's a bitch and she thinks he's a dick, and they can barely stand to be in a room together without fighting. So clearly two years (or eight) is not necessarily long enough to know if you'll want to spend the rest of your lives happily ever after together.

le_miserable 5

@39 I thank you for making my day.

OP got into this mess for putting her under public pressure. He deserves it. Don't make a public thing out of your relationship because for her it was embarrassing.

I totally agree with you. But he got rejected...that's sort of embarrassing in and of itself.

SmexiiBacon 8

She was embarrassed? You were the one she said no to. Sorry how she said no. Better luck next time

Kind of a dick move man, but big up for trying to pop the big one man.

how on earth is he a dick? god help a man if he misjudges when the right time is.

He should have brought the topic up casually a while before he did it to make sure they were on the same level and that she was even interested in marriage..

RedPillSucks 31

Yep. Like a good lawyer, he should have known the answer before he asked the question . Meaning that they should have had a discussion

ileenefudge 29

Why make a scene? Were you assuming she would say yes just because everyone was looking at her? I'd be embarrassed too, because that's just asking for trouble in my opinion and if she says no(which she did) then people make her out to be cruel and heartless.

CharresBarkrey 15

I agree. Someone making a scene in a restaurant is really embarrassing. It's OP's own fault for her saying no. Why would he want everyone to be watching anyway? It's none of their business.

He deserves is for making a scene whit the waiter. If that's how he wanted to propose, he should have had the balls to just stand up and politely ask for everyone's attention for a moment. Instead he instantly came off as an asshole then asked her to marry said asshole! No way OP doesn't deserve it!

Op said HE caused the scene when the waiter was there.

exactly, my husband proposed in a restaurant... he didn't need to ask anyone's attention... in general when you see the wait staff congregating (they knew before hand so they were all waiting for it) and a man on his knee it draws attention to the situation!

why am I getting downvoted? its true!

Octwo 16

I wasn't going to down vote you...until you complained about being down voted.

vegeta77 4

You must be a cold b1tch too. There are better ways to deal with it. All she had to say is this is big step and she needs time to think. If she actually loves him, that's not hard to say.

I agree wholeheartedly. Putting someone on the spot is a terrible idea. If you have discussed marriage and you know that she's interested, etc, then yeah okay that can work. But otherwise asking a woman to marry you in public is a terrible idea. I have seen an fml where a woman accepted and then told him "actually no, I just didn't want all those people to think I was a jerk". That is the situation you put a woman in when you do this. If she says no, everyone thinks she's a cold-hearted bitch. You can't lose, because if she says no everyone feels sorry for you and is on your side. And she's left to either accept, which she may or may not want to do, or be hated by everyone in the general vicinity. I'm on her side.