Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom and my dad met for the first time. We discovered that they are each other's exes, and not only that, my girlfriend, whom I have been dating, hanging out, confiding with, being intimate with, shared each other's first times, and plan to marry, is actually my half-sister. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression, I was as polite as possible, and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner, my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML
Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
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Top comments
Glidefedt 6
Don't we all?
ManInTheMachine 20
We all know that's what you were thinking, though. A Freudian slip? I think not. It's better to get it out of your system now anyway, before they invite you over for holiday dinner. It's better than blurting out the day after "I enjoyed porking your mom last night." instead of "I enjoyed the pork your mom made last night."
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Comments (86)
gracehi 33
Well, he certainly can't call you a liar. "Prick," or "slimy little punk," yes, but "liar," no.
jarockstar27 10
Freudian slip? Just suggesting..,,
ViviMage 40
I once mixed up "let's get white corn chips, yellow gives me trouble" and "let's by white corn chips, yellow is hard on me." Had much th same result you did!!
chriswright1888 10
Ooh! Thats a nasty one.
perdix 31
Even worse, he said, "Me, too!"
winkydog4056 16
#36_Oh dear. Winky is socked something like THAT could ever be said by perdix. Oh, my virgin ears.
winkydog4056 16
#36_*shocked. Winky was so shocked, she got socked.
Enslaved 38
"Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy." - Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber Happens to the best of us.
PhishloverA 14
You should've quickly said "in her life!" Or you should've said, as Beavis and Butthead would say, "I want your daughter's hand."
RebelYell14 4
Freud, meet slip.
Kaerunoutof 3
Girlfriend's father "I want you to be my daughter." It also combines "I want you to make her happy " and "I want you to be rich."
culito_fml 10
Great success!!!