By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 657
You deserved it 4 902

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cottoncandymango 17

Well, are you or are you not the father?

What a peculiar relationship the two of you have... Is honesty outlawed here or are we missing a huge chunk of this FML?


cottoncandymango 17

Well, are you or are you not the father?

She's obviously looking for her daddy, not her father. Sheesh!

LMFAOwned 9

Clearly he isn't the father. That was his first time at her place, and for the rebuttal of others who say they could have made love elsewhere, they've only been dating 3 months. It takes 9 months to conceive a child, plus the girl in this one is clearly not just a newborn baby. Elementary, my dear Watson.

Pwn17 25

No shit he isn't the father. 1 was being sarcastic.

It only takes a few moments to conceive a child. It takes nine monthsish to bring it to full term and birth it

The results are back and OP, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!

well she was his girlfriend of 3 months so... most likely not

You never know these days. They grow up so fast *sniff*

Scynistr 20

So.. You have to be dating to have sex? Oops...

@24 exactly! I can't believe people here haven't thought of that! It was driving me a bit mad actually...

perdix 29

They could have had a one-night stand a few years ago, and they only started dating regularly 3 months ago. Possible, but not likely.

32: I sincerely hope that it takes you longer than a few moments to conceive a child.

MuppetMerkin 10

Fun fact: The average gestation is 40 weeks. The average month is 4 weeks. So gestation averages 10 months, not 9. People started with the 9 months thing because most people find out they are pregnant about a month after conception and the doctor tell them they have 9 more months to go.

I'm pretty sure this was a reference to one of those shows, like the Maury show. haha

74- Only one month is 4 weeks, February. All others are slightly longer than 4 weeks making 40 weeks closer to 9 months. By your logic a year (52 weeks) would be 13 months because that would be 4 weeks each, which is clearly not correct.

Sober1128 9

It's so not the same thing.

Sober1128 9

Fun fact: you don't actually conceive until the second-third week. That 40 weeks is counted from the last period. Conception doesn't happen until about 2 weeks from then (they assume.) that's when most women ovulate. Pregnancy math.

Fun fact: Sherlock never utters the phrase "Elementary, my dear Watson." or anything similar in the books.

Huh? You've never met this girl before? You're not sure your girlfriend has a kid? What mind of relationship is this?!?

I don't see where it says she's the girlfriends daughter. Could be a younger sister or something.

2 - This is the kind of relationship that, if the FML is taken at face value, is extremely unhealthy on account of the girlfriend's dishonesty. She could be hiding anything from OP.

Laurenluvz 11

What a peculiar relationship the two of you have... Is honesty outlawed here or are we missing a huge chunk of this FML?

Well maybe its a secret plot where she wants to marry you,then dump u and get the alimony!

So is this an fml cause you found out your gf has a daughter.. Or is it cause it took you three months to make it around to her place??

Maybe its an FML because in three months of dating she didn't tell him she had a kid?

I think more so because it took him 3 months to find out that his gf has a kid.

I can imagine saying: "hey, did you know I already have a kid?" on the first date will blow some potential good boyfriends fastly away.

Hiding the fact you have a child for three months will too. I think it would be better to let him know day one, If that runs him off no need in the woman wasting her time.

And you usually only have 1 date in the first 3 months?

No. But still... it isn't that hard to understand why she did it. I've read some articles about single parents and almost all of them say that it's way harder to get a relationship, and some of them even admit they lie about it for the first dates/months, just to get a chance. I'm not defending her lying, but I can see why she did it, keeping in mind all those great guys who ran away from the moment she said she has a child.

I'm with you, 33. Yeah, putting the fact that you have a kid out there on or before the first date might ruin your chances of future dates, but if the date in question is like me, the relationship is going nowhere regardless of timing because I don't like kids and don't want to get involved with anyone who has them. Better for both parties not to waste any time with someone who is fundamentally incompatible.

everton99 16

That's exactly what my girlfriend told me on our first real date and I'm only 18. It didn't matter to me I still wanted to be with her, and I still am with her. I understand you may not want a child, but it's kinda hard not to love them, they're so cute! I never wanted a child until I started dating my girlfriend.

TheDrifter 23

Personally I think they're disgusting little creatures, always leaking at one end or the other, but give them a couple years and they're fine. I'd go with third our forth date info about the kids. Too soon frightens suitors off, too late makes you seem like a liar and of course you'll want to take a couple dates to make sure the nice guy act isn't a cover for a sociopath before informing them about your loved ones.

perdix 29

Funny that never came up in three months of dating. I wonder what other kind of secrets are hidden in Pandora's box (or whatever her name is.)

graceinsheepwear 33

That one little secret is out of her box already and greeting him at the door.

perdix 29

#15, well, that is one, but how many others are there?

I feel sad for that little girl who clearly misses having a daddy