Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom and my dad met for the first time. We discovered that they are each other's exes, and not only that, my girlfriend, whom I have been dating, hanging out, confiding with, being intimate with, shared each other's first times, and plan to marry, is actually my half-sister. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression, I was as polite as possible, and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner, my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML
Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
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Top comments
Glidefedt 6
Don't we all?
ManInTheMachine 20
We all know that's what you were thinking, though. A Freudian slip? I think not. It's better to get it out of your system now anyway, before they invite you over for holiday dinner. It's better than blurting out the day after "I enjoyed porking your mom last night." instead of "I enjoyed the pork your mom made last night."
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Comments (86)
Obey_StudBoii 23
Mother of God •pulls down sunglasses• good luck explaining that one.
Myo_fml 20
... I don't think the pulling down of the shades thing means what you think it means.
Ugi 27
He knew that already!
metalhead4740 14
A great man once said "the truth will always prevail". This proves it...
daner10 5
's life
DocBastard 40
That's when I would point out the shovel mounted above the fireplace. "No one would miss you, son. NO ONE."
lilhellian 27
Doc answer this truthfully.. Is that skull one of your daughters ex's.. I mean a lost hikers' you found in woods...
unknown_user5566 27
Sounds like something my husband would say, Doc. He always says "the day we find out we're having a daughter is the day I buy a shotgun". :P
spaboolly 26
Those weren't exactly the greatest responses anyway. Of course you want to be with her/in her life if you're dating her. Pretty sure he wanted to know WHY you felt that way.
hillbillyboy1993 7
21- there has to be a reason to buy a new shotgun??? :D
upsidedownn 8
Bless your heart.
Kathts7 12
"I want to be in your daughter...." "What?!" "......s life!"
Dracoboxer357 36
24- Jab, cross, uppercut? My best guess. ;)
Missy2612 11
so close... yet so far