Intimacy: Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay...

By vistingherfamily - 25/11/2011 02:09 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 800

You deserved it 3 363

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 905

You deserved it 39 493

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 05:56 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 025

You deserved it 3 931

Meet the parents

By aj513 - 29/11/2015 01:20 - United States - New Bedford

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 127

You deserved it 30 509

Oh no, please no

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 292

You deserved it 5 477

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 912

You deserved it 28 231

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 630

You deserved it 39 375

By rahrahcakes - 19/03/2012 07:36 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 734

You deserved it 12 790

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 7 221

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 459

You deserved it 18 533

By Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 542

You deserved it 64 557

stormer461 13

Friday 25 November 2011 8:59

I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.

Fahrenheit63 5

Friday 25 November 2011 8:56

She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.

Comments

momo1972 3

Friday 25 November 2011 18:30

Oh just tell her that you never use condoms cause they are in the way

arlena95 0

Friday 25 November 2011 18:34

Sounds EXACTLY like my mom...

ty1992_farmlife 12

Sunday 27 November 2011 22:33

That sucks..

falon142012 22

Friday 25 November 2011 19:08

so…since she probably knows you're gonna have sex anyway, she DOESN'T want you to have protection?

ilovebigtimerush 0

Friday 25 November 2011 23:31

She thinks taking away the protection will prevent them from having sex.

ilovebigtimerush 0

Friday 25 November 2011 23:31

She thinks taking away the protection will prevent them from having sex.

nanihere 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:13

Sounds like Meet the Parents :)

Dcm210 19

Friday 25 November 2011 20:02

her mom is a nutjob.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 25 November 2011 20:08

The **** is wrong with her?

celticnate 0

Friday 25 November 2011 20:47

Well if she had taken away the condoms, proudly get out the KY and say 'no problem'

bubo_fml 10

Friday 25 November 2011 22:29

"Thanks for your concern Ma'am, but it's only anal & oral for us this weekend!"

thecovert 7

Friday 25 November 2011 22:29

Good thing you had them in your pocket ;-)

bubo_fml 10

Friday 25 November 2011 22:33

**** the Thanksgiving turkey...Unprotected...If they object, tell 'em it's Mum's fault for **** blockin'!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681

You deserved it 7 123

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

The Top

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 881

You deserved it 22 193

Today, apparently my parents called 911 because I wasn't answering their phone calls, so they thought something was wrong. I was in the bathroom and didn't bring my phone, so I wouldn't distract myself and ended up sitting there forever. Looks like that wasn't the right choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 124

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 370

You deserved it 4 876

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 627

You deserved it 4 229

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 187

You deserved it 5 578

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 191

You deserved it 16 468