Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
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Top comments
netbeui435 3
Call the cops. That is arson.
Blacksxe 1
A firecracker?!? WTF is wrong with them?
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Comments (109)
Blacksxe 1
A firecracker?!? WTF is wrong with them?
AnonymousTroll 2
It seems they think your music *sunglasses* is on fire!
kjkang 4
Well he wasn't really being respectful by leaving his window in the first place. People in the next block could've easily heard him.
StopDropNRoll 11
1 he could have sounded like crap. So throwing a firework in there shut him up =P
Smokingweenies 3
It's because he wasn't playing careless whisper...
crackz12 10
Idk if a firecracker is really enough to light a mattress on fire. Im calling bs
crackz12 10
Why was my comment moderated for expressing disbelief that a firecracker could set a mattress on fire? I used no bad launguage. FML conspirisies, out to get me.
ilikeapplejuice 7
@6... *YEEAAAHHH* :)
Kenik 6
Saxophones kick ass. ?
Kenik 6
Saxophones kick ass. ?
WillTay 8
Don't worry about eviction, you are above the law.
Bravo11 14
"That's assault brotha."
I_Hate_Tpyos 0
Hey, I'd be impressed. That's pretty good aim for a drunk!
tatababe 1
I cant really blame them
False_Stupidity 41
Personally, I would have used eggs, they are cheep and would have scrambled your playing just as well.. Also less of a fire hazard.
mfelax9556 8
just tell your landlord it wasnt u! p.s.- first!
armandoX113 0
ohmygod xD i wana try that
IronMaiden45 0
you don't have common sense do you? what if their was a gas leak in the place you threw the firecracker? or what if you threw it in a elderly persons home who couldn't move fast enough? I swear people are getting stupider and stupider everyday -_-
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Yea bc OP everyone wants to catch their couch on fire with a firecracker these days...retarded landlord...
Altosax 4
You're a bad person.
TokinUp 6
Looks like nobody can take a joke.
netbeui435 3
Call the cops. That is arson.
X_Codes 11
At the very least, if you file a report then the landlord can't do shit about it. Actually, the landlord might be able to claim that s/he was the victim of a crime and get compensated for the fire/smoke damage, and that will at least keep them from kicking you out.
Decapitation 3
Put a screen on your window and buy a drumset.
aruam365 24
Clearly it didn't warrant that. However, what kind of an ass hole practices their musical instrument with the window open? That's inconsiderate to the neighbors.
Lookinforlove10 1
That still is not reason to throw a fire cracker in the window. He could of gave you an stfu warning first.
myoukei 31
not really.... it depends on the proximity between OP's house or apartment and the neighbor's.....
Jdeluxh 12
That sounds like an EXPLOSIVE situation!... I'm sorry.
jewclops 6
Gotta love those bad puns
exleonhart 0
Gotta love the overused and efed to death bad puns.
EvilPotato 14
5 no.
enonymous 8
I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like victory
Fruit_Dealer 9
And victory in the morning becomes defeat in the evening because of the sudden absence of matress. Then again, some like it rough so one could still argue on the "defeat" part.
fedora11 12
That really sucks. Throw firecrackers back at them. A little payback never hurts.
marinus_fml 19
Fire crackers are illegal in aus.
Bravo11 14
Your username is fedora11. Classic. Perhaps you should try Tool11 next time.
Lemuel_fml 5
That is outrageous! I have a feeling Karma will strike back...
marod02 0
That's DY-NO-MITE
AlbinoBear 0
Well atleast you have the Sexophone
SkardeyKat 3
Sexophone? Is that like a sexy saxophone?
Fruit_Dealer 9
A very special tool for your personal musical intercourse. Now available at your nearest sax shop.