Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I spent a nice night with the guy I’ve been madly crushing on for the past year. When he went to the bathroom and left his phone unlocked, I looked at his photo album and saw photos of my house, my room, me sleeping, and my naked body. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
qwertyuiop8989 0
It's just sex....it's his fault...not yours
Signposthead 0
Why would you complement him on his ipod touch, if it was like an iPhone signed by a famous person a could see it, but come on
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (202)
PurpleHaze23 0
The thing in brackets makes you my role model.
metheonlyb 17
Nice name!! Purple Haze.... Name of my favorite pub. Hehe!
dont_be_dumb 0
A. how can you "hit it off" at a club? Did you guys sit down and chat about the meaning of life in the bathroom or something? uh, no. B. YDI for just hooking up C. Can't be surprised that a skanky guy would go home with a skanky girl AND he alreayd had a gf. D. Why would you want to tell the world you're a *****?
flyingtoasters 0
Actually, you can hit it off with strangers. Thats how normal people make friends. Hell, thats often times how a lot of people get dates. Im not saying it was wrong or right of her to sleep with him but, sometimes there is just a connection with people that one can feel. :)
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for being a a skanky ho. You fail so hard at being a woman.
dRose22 0
Your fault for having sex with him before getting to know him. *****
mobius8 0
Not really a FYL. You'd just meet him so it's not like you were dating or really into him. F his GFs life maybe. Presuming he wasn't meaning an ex gf gave it to him, which seems more likely imo.
freelove_fml 2
Exactly. What's so FML about it? You wanted to **** a guy, you ****** him. Why do you care about his GF? **** the GF's life, if anything.
chowyuk 0
it should say today I got hot treated like the hoe I am fml. and the op's name accidentalslut ya right doubt it's then first time you were a ****.
tbagg74 0
just cuz u cant get laid doesnt mean u should call other ppl a **** for being able to
nebjamin69 0
Yeah but there is no way she's an "accidentalslut". She was looking for the one night stand, it doesn't matter if the guy has a girlfriend or not....
celiaeatsballz 0
maybe that will teach you to gain respect for yourself and have morals. otherwise, I hope you're happy with all the random guys who don't love you.
ilytoria 0
YDI for sleeping with guys you just met.
swanlee 0
Your vag probably looks like two elephants ears, maybe you should have asked him if he had a GF or even his name before you decided to be a ****.
plexico 3
Threesome! Upgrade him to an iPhone 3GS and video the action! There's an app for that!