Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. I'm obsessive about cleanliness and neatness. They're candidates for a certain show about hoarders. I want to shower in bleach. FML
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, even though I'm the most neat freak germophobe there is, I was diagnosed with scabies. FML
Today, I checked into a hotel for a work trip. When I walked in, the sheets and bath mat were stained, and there was soap-encrusted hair stuck in my folded towel. When I got back later in the day, all my stuff was gone because they apparently thought I'd checked out. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
olpally 33
Oh the instant irony! Haha. Time for some hand sanitizer and a shower.
JasonUMN 15
Reality TV always over-exaggerates every situation to gain views. You'll be fine sleeping in a hotel bed one night.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
mFUNdo21 17
you could always sleep on the floor...
HeartOfLead 24
Are there no chairs? And if the show is getting to you, you can always stand.
SuperSofie 23
Good night, sleep tight & don't let the bedbugs bite...
Larry01_fml 19
Don't turn on any black lights. You won't like what you see
Smoxxii 17
Semen, and blood 21... Semen and blood... All this other nasty shit, too.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Full body condom?
dramaelf 37
Wait till they tell you about the bathroom. *shudders*
perdix 31
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And if it kills you, can I have your shit?
MrBoredomioo 18
perdix SUCKS!!!! DOWN WITH HIM!!!
abekj52 9
let's go down on him
OnlyTheDarkest 17
I get the megadeath albums, you take the rest Perdix.
skyeyez9 25
I have stayed in plenty of hotel rooms and never got sick. Actually, I heard the dirtiest things in a hotel room are the tv remote and phone.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Yeah, but there's always that one chair that all the weirdies like to hump.. Don't touch the chairs!!
monnanon 14
a hotel room bed is probably the cleanest one you will ever sleep on. the company i worl for has to change the bed base and mattress every ten years and the pillows and duvets every three years. the beds are stripped right down between guests and any stains or problems with the mattress or anything else on the bed is dealt with straight away. what other bed have you been in that has the linen changed so much.
Fernando83 19
Yes they get their sheets changed every guest but your own personal bed doesn't get use by strangers to **** on.
kwan_wendy 9
Still we have to sleep in the hotel when traveling :)
monnanon 14
and what do you not get about the sheets are changed. no more other peoples germs unless they strip the bed off before they get down to it. unfortunately stopping people ******* isnt part of my job :)
Fernando83 19
Sheets don't always stay on the bed or prevent bodily fluids from seeping through.
cheshireau 26
Why don't you change the channel?