Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
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Top comments
samcro3 8
Ghetto gourmet!
HowAreYouToday 34
Quick thinking, OP. Try and use that skill and become a con artist :D
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Comments (160)
lilhellian 27
Chickfila gives out mints! :o Atleast here they do..
perdix 31
Mmm! You sound yummy! Do you like making out in the afternoon?
fsomelife 26
Should've saved the butter, come back later that night with it to a different waiter and yelled about how they forgot to give you your pizza.
chlorinegreen 27
They remembered the garlic butter but not the pizza?
vbmg152 19
Where are you? I'll buy you some food! No joke, I've done it before for strangers!
noelasis94 18
Do you ever give them candy?
vbmg152 19
Very funny! I've been hungry & homeless! I find nothing amusing about it!
tskat2 3
I don't suppose you hand out candy in the back of your white van do you?
noelasis94 18
Fml can be a charity service to so set up a Paypal account and ask for donations
aikhan 16
once I did not eat for 3 days because I had no money now I run my own company and earn 5 to 10 times more than people of my age. hang on in there, time either its good or bad passes away.
mkcherry 14
next time suck up your pride and go the shelter for your dinner. or if you have no shame go to olive garden order two waters and say you're waiting for a guest but they can bring the bread out now. Eat all the bread you want, even have them refill it. Then pretend you have an emergency or that you were stood up and exit the restaurant, the bread is free so its not dine and dash.
klm2purple 18
You sound like you do this often...... ;)
OSU216 2
Need some cash? I'll at least buy ya dinner
DollyDope 17
If you're willing to steal garlic butter from a pizzeria, why not just steal real food from a grocery store? Something substantial.. Garlic butter won't keep you alive and well for long.
SillyGirl4602 23
Or she can go to a food pantry/soup kitchen.
nyxiny 22
You couldn't afford the 20-40 cents for ramen, even? Or if you want to go healthier, stuff like cabbage and rice... Cabbage can be bought as cheap as 99 cents for a head where I live, and with rice can last days.
hooligyn123 18
I doubt most people would eat butter if they could afford ramen.... Except maybe Paula Dean.
nyxiny 22
They could stop paying for their phone or internet and actually eat as opposed to stealing... Seeing as I'm fairly certain they didn't make a trip to the library just to post this FML, and they probably didn't do it from work. (Although the latter I suppose is possible.)
hooligyn123 18
Maybe. No one in my house could do their jobs if we didn't have internet at home. Roommates could also exist and thus internet. Some apartment complexes with free WiFi we have a bunch of those in town... and then there is the good old fashioned leeching WiFi from neighbors.