Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
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Top comments
samcro3 8
Ghetto gourmet!
HowAreYouToday 34
Quick thinking, OP. Try and use that skill and become a con artist :D
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Comments (160)
FML_14u2c 14
On a positive note, you were responsible with your bills, so thumbs up for that OP. As for going hungry, pay a bill late if possible and rely on friends and family, as long as you don't make it a habit. I like #40's comment about the FML charity. :-)
hooligyn123 18
Phone replied to wrong Post. Curse you "smart" phone
skyeyez9 25
Next time go to Olive Garden for the free breadsticks. And pretend you are meeting a date that never showed up (an actual FML on here awhile back).
SirWTF 10
I used to work in fast food, and customers like you were always the worst scum I ever had the displeasure of dealing with.
bagsoffairydust 10
Well, if you're that broke you could always sell whatever you uploaded this FML from.. As long as it wasn't a public computer or something..
Panda_Bear18 13
I'm sorry OP :( you could always go to a Mexican restaurant and eat their free chips and salsa ! :D
pussystank 18
Well couldn't you try out for food stamps or the salvation army???
hooligyn123 18
Because there is this lovely fact. You can make too much for food stamps and still be broke as hell. My example: I graduated and have student loans, then was hospitalized without insurance. Result: $800/mo in just those two bills alone for the next 12 years of my life. Food stamps and SA don't care about what bills you have, they based stuff off your gross income.
disney_blonde 16
If they don't care about your medical bills, why do they ask if you have unpaid medical bills and how much monthly payments are on the foodstamp application?
hooligyn123 18
I was told by my local FS office that only applies for a deduction if you are disabled or elderly... 0.o Possibly the worker was incorrect?
edgarhaasenbary 8
Better than me. I drank ranch all week last week.
mpena 4
If you're that broke, apply for food stamps. You shouldn't have to starve like that and resort to stealing.
hooligyn123 18
See my reply to #70
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Hope your financial situation gets better!
MillerBeerTime 5
Wow, pathetic-person...; get a ******* job.