Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
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Top comments
samcro3 8
Ghetto gourmet!
HowAreYouToday 34
Quick thinking, OP. Try and use that skill and become a con artist :D
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Comments (160)
aligator121 15
You may as well storm into a fast food place and yell that you didn't get as many chicken nuggets as you ordered.
IamBunghole 9
If South Carolina has Costco then she can ger free samples.
firechicky 12
except costco costs money to join
TimeDisposalEngi 14
Shoulda went to a restaurant that offered free buns before a meal, then pretended you were stood up and left.
420Zombie 17
op could even bring that garlic butter along
candy_kisses91 5
That is actually a better idea then what she actually did.
pixiebubz 26
#111 it's from a previous FML!
secretsmiles00 8
Should of tried the Salvation Army.
pussystank 18
Lol you had me laughing for 5 minutes straight b/c I went there too only for electricity bill assistance since it was to high like about 70 bucks smh, but I laughed due to the Salvation's Army's single line full of Honey Boo Boo moms.
waitwhatsgoingon 18
...what?
BellaBelle_fml 23
I wouldn't be laughing at that single line of Honey BooBoo moms, you were in that line as well.
ColbyGB 13
Just Another starving actor...
chottu 16
Try buying cheap wholesome foods. Potatoes are a good one, you can make alot of things out of potatoes and they are cheap and filling. Try budgeting so that you are buying food that will take you further for the same amount of money (don't eat out, don't buy premade meals from the frozen food aisle etc). I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, for all I know you're already taking these measures but I just thought I'd give a suggestion.
Doodleoodlebug 18
Rice is a lot cheaper and more filling :)
grace31297 14
Love how you say this and your photo is of Mrs Weasley!… classic
RpiesSPIES 27
Just don't use bologna. It may be versatile, but eating it in large quantities will make you hate yourself... Also, never bake it into a pie.
stupidpplsuck 33
i have no idea why but i had to read this like 7 time before i saw that 'photo' wanst 'potato' @4
stupidpplsuck 33
@46 (missed the 6)
chottu 16
Rice is another good one :) @46 Thanks :)
jelly713 19
As well as pasta, egg, beans, then salad. A lot for your buck if OP is okay with eating healthy & at home. Then top ramen for emergencies like this, stored away in the cabinets. If they're really suffering then food stamps for the time being.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You're the kind of person who ruins somebody's day by yelling at them for something as small as butter. Be ashamed.
killmoose 5
Yeah... Someone can die of starvation, but spare that 17 year old kid who couldn't give less of a shit. He probably didn't even think twice before giving it to her, he probably literally forgot that hour after
SillyGirl4602 23
I feel bad for op that she is so broke that she had to resort to this but there are other ways to go about things. Op, next time you get paid just try to stock up on rice or potatoes like the other commenters said. They are cheap and fill you up.
lionheart822 13
You could've just ordered a pizza to deliver. And then beat the pizza delivery person with a baseball bat like a couple of chicks did a few years back.
ChristinaAAR 14
I'm sure OP already has enough problems without being wanted by the police for beating a pizza delivery person with a baseball bat.
Doodleoodlebug 18
Garlic butter? You could have at least gone for the Peter Kay option and started yelling 'Garlic Bread. Garlic? Bread?' For afters you could have gone for the cheesecake too ;)
zango1 15
I'm with you but I'm not sure that many non-British FMLers would get the reference.
klm2purple 18
Zango1 is right.... What does it mean??
lowshadows 21
sounds like you're waiting for that one guy with lots of money lol.
nancem 7
Why don't you try to get some food at your local food bank? You clearly have enough dignity to ask for help, if you're lying for butter