By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 690
You deserved it 48 664

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Don't stick your dick in dirty holes. Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to a doctor.

ks23 9

I feel bad for the spider. Who knows what you gave him seeing as you stick your dick in anything


I actually feel bad for you. Get better soon!

You got off easy. Imagine if it was shredded metal in that hole from something stabbing the shed.

Spiderman spiderman take OP to the garbage can, okay i am done.

dupot420 9

That mother ****** deserved it. Never put your tool in somewhere you don't know what's on the other side.

LOL hahaha that's the funniest thing. Was your penis swollen/purple/blue/itchy/cast around it/no more sex for you in a couple of weeks/what brah

klovemachine 24

I've never heard a drunk story end in a good way :O there I was, wasted off my ass and then...joe Cuban comes out of nowhere and gives me good stock advice, and I promptly followed it and doubled my portfolio! He also offered me a bunch of stuff for my diet Mountain Dew...didn't have the heart to tell him it was just whiskey...

117, it's disturbing you wish to know all of those details.

Op- it really doesn't happen to the best of us

Just to finish this off, OP, it happens to some of the best of us

I can honestly tell you that this has never happened to me, and I'm not even the best. So no, it doesn't happen to the best of us.

Well good sir, i am indubitably the best, and i has indeed happened to me a time or twenty, therefore using my precise mathematical algorithms i can determine that it does happen to the best of us

So you stick your dick in random holes and get bit by random creatures?

unknown_user5566 26

How can you not deserve this? Are glory holes EVER a good idea?

Apparently when you get bit by a black widow spider.

unknown_user5566 26

25- When you stick your dick through and sustain a bite from a Black Widow. The idea of a glory hole is disgusting, anyway. I don't see the appeal in having a random stranger get you off; you have no idea where their mouth has been.

TheDrifter 23

Treat it as a game. It's like playing name that disease with your genitals. On a side note, whether the shed was steel or wood, the hole itself could have caused serious injury.

MsMourningStar 22

It doesn't have to be a stranger. I've gone with my fiancé and we each went into a separate room and it was amazing. You just have to be more open minded about your sex life to enjoy such things I guess.

You have to be open to strangeness and kinkiness to enjoy a glory hole.

I have seen a comment on like every FML ever by you kyleekay.

28- related story, once a guy did the glory hole thing in a stall in a men's washroom, walked out, and his dad came out of that stall...

138 - where'd you hear that? That seems far fetched.

MsMourningStar 22

Well yes 72, that's kind of the point. Vanilla's wouldn't go near a glory hole.

152- it could have easily been a coincidence. A very disturbing coincidence.

Or if they even have a mouth.... All dat slenderman assssss...... XD

Don't stick your dick in dirty holes. Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to a doctor.

Pretty solid guideline to live by, #4. The doctor part.

Inheritance 10

Always ask your doctor if its right for you!

It was a one in a million shot doc, one in a million.

Well, if your doctor is DocBastard, then OP probably isn't the worst case to be heard of.

dupot420 9
ardencred 7

164 That was one of the few times my jaw has dropped just from pure stupidity.

#164 I gave that a thumbs up only because I laughed so hard I vomited after reading that.

ks23 9

I feel bad for the spider. Who knows what you gave him seeing as you stick your dick in anything

klovemachine 24

"spider dies after biting dick" is a headline you won't find in any newspaper :)

Black WIDOW, not a him, but good comment :)

Shadowvoid 33

I see that as a widow problem, but you will be ok. In spider your actions, you will hopefully recover soon.

Your play on words is actually quite clever

Shadowvoid 33

Hole-d on a sec OP, maybe you shed think about the consequences of your actions beforehand :P

Queen_of_Night 20

This wouldn't have happened had he been more recluse.

Shadowvoid 33

If there had been a brown recluse involved... Well, his "member" may fall off and no longer be a member of his body.

Shadowvoid 33

77- have you read my responses before? Usually they are hidden in 5-10 seconds...

I want to say YDI, but I can't. No one deserves to have their dick bitten by a spider.

#21 you obviously don't understand cuz ur not a guy. I don't wanna sound sexist, but spider-dick is a ****-shriveling terror.

Not the brightest crayon in the box are you?

Or should you say, not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Sharpest knife in the drawer, brightest bulb in the pack...I've heard of those. Brightest crayon, however, is a new one...

How does the coed part have anything to do with it?

sammisweets93 12

usually a straight male wants a girl, maybe idk what it has to do.

unknown_user5566 26

Assuming OP is a male, it was probably meant to imply that he didn't want another dude to be on the opposite end of the glory hole.

ks23 9

The op is male. Considering he has a dick to stick in a glory hole

What people are forgetting is that glory holes started as a way for gay men to have random sex in bathrooms.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I didn't forget that 89, why else do you think I have a hole cut out in my bathroom door? Haha.

chickenflem 8

So no one answered 9. I was wondering the same thing. How would this be different if it were a all guys party and OP was gay? That wouldn't stop him from getting intoxicated and sticking his penis into the hole.

How did your comment have anything to do with this post? Hmm, yoyo?

kleider1 9

Why!? That's a stupid thing to do. You should count yourself lucky for bot ending up dead if it was a black widow

Actually you have a 99% chance of surviving a black widow bite.

kleider1 9

I didn't know that. And I didn't think I was gonna learn anything today.