Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Druu 53
That's just silly. Everyone knows you're supposed to shout "CANNONBALL" when you perform a cannonball.
GhostFox 33
There's no reason to get that drunk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
GhostFox 33
There's no reason to get that drunk.
WeirdUS 29
You should cut back or stop drinking if you are doing things like that while drunk.
Druu 53
That's just silly. Everyone knows you're supposed to shout "CANNONBALL" when you perform a cannonball.
Emily Bogdonas 4
LOL don't listen to the haters thats awesome ??
RichardPencil 30
That's sad. Now you won't be able to have children. That's why always wear a cup -- to protect my coccyx and my tentacles.
ThrottleJockey 35
I take it you got an anatomy lesson from Doc Bastard.
Regulate 21
Either this didn't happen or someone had to post this for you. No way someone that stupid could work out how to use a keyboard.
Taurus_ChicKa 36
People who get this drunk don't get my sympathy.
Pixiewolfe 46
Being drunk has consequences. Having no children in the future is apparently one of them.
Talis99 26
Do you not know what a coccyx is?
Lobby_Bee 17
That's why you don't go half drunk, you always go full drunk and just pass out. That way you can't hurt yourself doing dumb drunk shit.
Rebecca Stockert 16
everyone is aware that a coccyx is a tailbone right..? im confused at how having children came into play.. sorry op tough break
Marlon4136 4
I think everyone is kidding. The first person to post something about not being able to have children made a reference to coccyx and tentacles (instead of testicles).