Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML
Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML
Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML
Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML
Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML
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Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Have loud sex with yourself to get back at them. Let's make this awkward.
NoisyNykkii 10
Start playing Justin Beiber to get the boys turned off?
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Comments (244)
littlemsweirdo 12
It's okay! FOREVER ALONE (:
boofgall 16
Used completely wrong, but I understand from your profile that it's probably because you're 13.
littlemsweirdo 12
Well I misread the FML so I apologize for that but don't discriminate me based on my age. (:
boofgall 16
I'll discriminate when you can't properly use a meme, kid.
littlemsweirdo 12
Kid? You obviously don't know me. That is really funny because my profile is entirely different from who I am. Don't be too quick to assume. ;) Keep that in mind kid. Lol
nfsdude0125 14
Don't try and talk like an adult. You're only just 13.
Mirorbo 27
Such lovely 'friends' you have, darling. I wonder how THAT plan played out and what part of it sounded like a brilliant idea for them to execute.
buildajay 4
Mingle:)
kirrra 11
with who? all her friends are having sex, or did you not actually read the FML?
OMCheezbread 9
97, I do believe that would be 19's point. Make it interesting for OP and awkward for her friends. :)
Phr0zen 11
It's okay OP, I am also single and would hate for that to happen. If I was in your situation then I probably would just get drunk to fall asleep in the comfort of my own home since I am afraid my friends are gonna put marker penises on my forehead.
06dopey 8
your friends suck. plain and simple
MGSPOP 1
its not gay if its a one two three way..
ohSNAPyall 27
Said King Arthur.
BeThePanda 1
Who doesn't love a nice SNL reference?
MGSPOP 1
well it was the first thing that came to my head when I read the FML. ;)
dstluke 7
your friends are jerks.
ohSNAPyall 27
Circle jerks?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Beef jerky.
Phr0zen 11
It is also possible to join in the act if your friend(s) is/are comfortable with that. I mean a menage trois or threesome would not be a bad idea although you gotta have no morals like the Jersey Shore people to accomplish that.
Bobissmall 13
What's immoral about it?
megansays 2
Yeah. If you're a ****. This girl having a sleep over insists that she's probably too young for you to make such suggestions. Thumbs down.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Super iPod and his fellow sidekick, Headphones, SAVE THE DAY (one extremely loud song at a time)
ganjaone 2
I feel ur pain :( I have to hear my bro have sex everyday in the morning. Makes me feel like a big loser cause I have no one
Mister_Triangle 21
Your brother? That's ****** up.
shayshayshazam 14
Creepy...