Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML
Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML
Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML
Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML
Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML
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Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Have loud sex with yourself to get back at them. Let's make this awkward.
NoisyNykkii 10
Start playing Justin Beiber to get the boys turned off?
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Comments (244)
capper44 18
Bet that was one loud night over, with such nice friends lol .... Set off the fire alarm haha ;)
HellfirePrince 3
Wow thats really effed up, i would kick each of them out of the house naked to feel as awkward as they are making you feel! Not only did they fail you as friends but then they decide to disrespect you AND you're home by getting it on?! Ugh...
capper44 18
#51 & #52 almost exactly i thought to write before i decided to cut in short :p but nvm ... Well said :)
HellfirePrince 3
Thanks :)
br0ccoli 15
I really hope I'm not the only one who thinks that what your friends are: 1) not normal (who does that to friends??) 2) rude 3) done one purpose to make you realize all the sex you won't be having If my friends everrr did that to me, I'd find new friends.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Why would you say they're not normal? Is not being normal bad? Normal is boring. A better way of saying that would have been "they're not polite" or something along those lines.
borche 5
Yuk!
kei1108 13
That is horrible of your friends to do. Find some new people to surround yourself with.
shazza891 1
If they were true friend they would let u join in
theonlysweetpea 10
Apparently you don't have a boyfriend OR friends. I'd kick them out of my house
benikki 0
Wel what i would do, is play with myself til i squirt all over what ever room in in, haha, then trash the shit out if it, then grab a chair or something to block the door. Then blast every stereo in the entire house with loud ass fricken music!!! Oh yeah! Can yu tell id be pissed off?
kandi_kid69 15
Dafuq..
doctorhook86 25
63 - You had me at "play with myself till I squirt" and lost me at whatever the **** you were talking about after that.
Jollymanroper 1
You have odd friends
DollyDope 17
I wonder if the "friends" conspired with each other about bringing their men over or was it a coincidence. Regardless, find yourself some new friends, OP