By coffeeshopgirl - 08/05/2012 00:25 - United Kingdom
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74- I don't follow your logic. When you are heartbroken it's not okay to find comfort by socializing with friends? The reason 66 (and I) think they were being lousy friends is that they were pretty much throwing it into OP's face that they have guys when she now doesn't. They're lousy friends because they couldn't go one night without sex to help a friend feel better. OP- If it's your place, why did you let the boyfriends come over at all? Kick them out and tell your friends how horrible their behavior has been.
I don't think they were doing that at all...if anything I think they probably just weren't taking her very seriously. I don't disagree with people that this isn't what you should do, but this is a group of people who are apparently all comfortable openly sleeping with their partners together, it would seem obvious to me that this is a group of very sexually liberal people. I don't understand the need to discard people so quickly over one instance, especially when you should know what your friends are like in the first place. For instance if I was broken up with I wouldn't turn to one of my friends who I know is very unsympathetic, it just seems like common sense. Friendship is based on more than just an emotional vent. The situation sucks yes, but really why would you suddenly cut people out of your life for something so trivial?
Ya know, I'm actually going to have to agree with "downtime". I have friends who I would NEVER turn to for sympathy. And I've had friends who've insulted me in some form and I've forgiven them and moved on. While it was really harsh to have sex in OP's house, she should have expected it from certain "friends". If I was heartbroken, I would turn to only one friend that I knew I could trust for advice and sympathy. Granted, I'm not justifying her friend's actions at all, because it was very rude on their part. But OP knows her friends well enough to decide who and who not to talk to in certain situations. Different people have different feelings and mindsets. Some are callous, while others are very sweet and sympathetic. Unortunately, OP mistook the callous for the kind... I'm Sorry OP, and I hope things work out for you...
Downtime, I said she should let her friends know how poorly they behaved, not get rid of them. But you emphasized that they seem more open sexually. That has nothing to do with how OP feels. You often get preachy about sexual liberation. It's not for everyone. Some of us don't want to have multiple partners; be in open relationships; have sex in front of other people; watch our friends have sex. There's nothing wrong with that. OP is complaining about being shunned by her friends and it sounded like you were blaming her for not being into having all her friends f*ck all over her house when she invited them there for comfort. Even if a person is into that sort of thing, there's a time and a place.
Since what I said was in direct response to someone else suggesting "re evaluating" your friends, and you claimed to not understand my logic, I assumed you were asking for me to explain the point. Your comment about telling her friends their behaviour was unacceptable wasn't directed at me at all, I didn't read it. I don't care how you feel about it, I'm saying you know what your best friends are like. I wouldn't be comfortable with my friends fucking in front of me in any situation, but I would obviously make this known and move on with not being a dick about it, not "re evaluate" my friendship with them. I get preachy about it because people here get preachy and extremely judgmental about the opposite. What do you expect? The number of harsh unnecessary bullshit comments that lack any kind of understanding of the topic would obviously leave me wanting to put my two cents in. So before this starts to just loop over the same old points, my side of this discussion is over. Feel free to make more irrelevant points if you wish.
Have loud sex with yourself to get back at them. Let's make this awkward.
ahh how uncomfortable :( absolute least they could have done was brought a friend for you !