Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML
Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML
Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML
Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML
Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML
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Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Have loud sex with yourself to get back at them. Let's make this awkward.
NoisyNykkii 10
Start playing Justin Beiber to get the boys turned off?
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Comments (244)
I_Punch_Babies 7
doesnt matter had....oh
Abby133 14
Shitty deal, OP. I'd leave. :/
Mister_Triangle 21
It's her house; kick them out or do something disruptive
Abby133 14
Oh whoops! Didn't know it was her house, hahah
chesoes 8
call ur ex back , i dont kno wat rlse yu could do
MineIsBigger 5
yu cud lurn tu spel
kandi_kid69 15
ShE culd jon dem in a 3wai. I just killed my own brain cells by typing that.
doctorhook86 25
mStRb8.
SweetlyPsycho 4
Nothing puts me to sleep like loud sex! Enjoy it while it lasts;)
FYLminerocks 7
Let's trade neighbors. You'd love mine.
downtime 13
I believe they meant they fall asleep easily after sex...it was supposed to be a play on words.
misskellirenee 3
you need new friends
doctorhook86 25
Real friends would've shared.
Mister_Triangle 21
Phrasing!
paperroll880 16
Insensitive much?
Mister_Triangle 21
Get a grip, man! This is no time to panic!
keidus324 6
Awesome friends
itssosparkly 21
Shout out "You shouldn't be doing that, herpes is contagious!" to nobody in paticular and let hilarity ensue.