Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 04:21 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 271

You deserved it 3 407

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Same thing different taste

Testing the waters

By Anonymousss95 - 10/12/2011 12:03 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 690

You deserved it 13 383

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 944

You deserved it 5 999

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 938

You deserved it 3 064

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 4 257

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 784

You deserved it 6 722

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 002

You deserved it 4 133

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 270

You deserved it 6 898

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832

You deserved it 6 141

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 2 779

By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 020

You deserved it 13 437

Next

Top comments

Attacksloth 33

Monday 8 June 2015 0:11

Clearly the most important bitch in his life.

Rinat_fml 26

Monday 8 June 2015 0:10

How was the sex though?

Comments

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 8 June 2015 0:18

Aint that cute? You got one of those sensitive guys

Cads1 24

Monday 8 June 2015 0:19

Try having sex at his house.

muarif 19

Monday 8 June 2015 0:19

He's got 99 problems and a bitch is one!

Juryduty 7

Thursday 11 June 2015 19:52

Yes, a bitch is his number 1

SadSouthernBell 18

Monday 8 June 2015 0:21

He could have lied about the reason he got upset. Was it his first time too? Most men are prideful creatures >_

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 8 June 2015 0:25

He was overcome by emotions

Miss_Mandi 29

Monday 8 June 2015 0:26

This is exactly what I thought when I first read the FML. Entirely possible.

jimmer23 21

Monday 8 June 2015 0:22

Bitches be trippin. In this case, he's the bitch.

lovelockdown23 23

Monday 8 June 2015 0:35

Lol this makes you guys sound really old or really young and since you're losing your virginity I'm guessing kinda young. If you're not either well at least you know he's not ashamed to show how much he cares.

Miss_Whipped 43

Monday 8 June 2015 0:45

You seem a bit conflicted.

TH_Insomniak 15

Monday 8 June 2015 0:37

at least we know he'll be a good father?...

DaRito 25

Monday 8 June 2015 0:37

"Today, I lost my virginity. It was extremely awkward when I wasn't thinking and told her that I shouldn't have left my dog alone. FML"

vinnerator 7

Monday 8 June 2015 0:39

at least he has feelings

mistress_paz 30

Monday 8 June 2015 0:41

First time for sex is usually painful or awful in some way.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 931

You deserved it 45 244

Today, I once again woke up to find a huge gash on the back of my foot with blood pouring out. Turns out, I scratched it with my other toenail in my sleep. This is the ninth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 1 169

Today, my brother let us know his wife was in labour. I rang him a few hours later to ask how it was going. I wasn’t expecting him to switch to video chat to show me “The Miracle.” I now know what my sister-in-law's vagina looks like in the middle of birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 110

Today, we started building our dream house. Next to my parents-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 348

You deserved it 786

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 330

You deserved it 4 488

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 687

You deserved it 7 473