Money: Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No.... - FML

30/03/2015 01:09 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 418

You deserved it 2 585

Our house, in the middle of our street

Family values

Fake it til you make it

13/05/2019 04:00

Today, I got up and walked to college for my only class which started at 9 a.m. after a night of restless sleep. Our exam is two weeks away, so I thought it would be better to attend. Apparently, my teacher thought differently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 194

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)

By Lissa - 10/09/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, I’m a 28 year-old single mom who has never has never experienced an orgasm. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 541

15/11/2011 10:50 - United States

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 675

You deserved it 7 683

15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 825

You deserved it 5 105

28/01/2014 11:16 - United Kingdom - King's Lynn

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 16 574

29/04/2016 19:26 - United States - New York

Today, I was declined a sales position at a local store. As I headed out, I heard the interviewer telling a colleague, "Christ. That kid had less charisma than Microsoft Sam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 080

You deserved it 1 743

So cute

By Randomm - 12/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 1 127

23/01/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 333

You deserved it 3 242

19/03/2017 02:00

Today, my best friend asked me to be the best man at his wedding. I had to decline because the bride's family has deep prison gang ties and I'm a correctional officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 258

You deserved it 538

03/01/2011 08:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 621

You deserved it 5 031

13/02/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 481

You deserved it 3 506

16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 398

You deserved it 17 407

Great parenting

By Shawn Kotris - 17/06/2021 11:01

Today, my kids' mother, who has been absent and living in a different state for over 12 years, sent a children services worker to my house with a long list of allegations, even though she's 25k behind in support, rather than try to build a normal relationship with her kids in any kind of healthy way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 54

23/12/2015 06:09

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 297

You deserved it 3 147

10/11/2015 23:25 - Austria

Today, I felt sad, useless and like I could never achieve anything. To cheer myself up, I wanted to smell some essential orange oil. I couldn't open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 317

You deserved it 3 683

18/04/2014 11:09 - United States - Golden Valley

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 448

You deserved it 59 647

23/08/2013 01:38 - United States - Cerritos

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 339

You deserved it 3 667

08/07/2012 21:13 - France

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 536

You deserved it 42 679

08/12/2010 14:56 - Israel

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 203

You deserved it 3 834

Alexa, play "Panic" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 20:01

Today, I'm now convinced that a series of forlorn, increasingly panicked-sounding little bird-calls are coming from the vents in my apartment. Between my social anxiety and the lockdown, I can see no way to get help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 117

22/07/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 129

You deserved it 17 481

03/02/2009 06:51 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my mother called to say that my 11-year-old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassels, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 991

You deserved it 31 963

26/04/2013 00:11 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 750

You deserved it 5 971

03/03/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 793

You deserved it 2 758

06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 206

You deserved it 5 685

06/10/2010 23:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 627

You deserved it 38 346

06/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Madison

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 640

You deserved it 2 196

16/07/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 873

You deserved it 3 288

24/12/2010 03:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 730

You deserved it 9 508

04/07/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 649

You deserved it 3 920

20/06/2015 01:06 - Australia

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 9 158

17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 580

You deserved it 3 730

23/05/2016 10:49 - United States - Lansing

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 123

You deserved it 1 242

23/04/2016 02:22 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 032

You deserved it 1 583

Liability

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 11:00

Today, my friend broke ties with me after I came out of the hospital from attempted suicide. She was the one who called the police for me to go in there in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 188

14/08/2015 22:42 - United States - Houston

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 2 562

06/08/2013 04:01 - Australia - Rozelle

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 262

You deserved it 19 700

06/01/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 089

You deserved it 4 392

27/12/2016 18:28 - Israel - Petah Tiqwa

Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 567

You deserved it 1 499

16/04/2017 19:23

Today, I helped my children dye Easter eggs. They did great. My husband, however, is covered in dye spots and glitter from "helping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 303

You deserved it 608

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Monday 30 March 2015 10:54

Your roommate is a dumbass.

micassures_fml 19

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Monday 30 March 2015 10:54

Try and search the trash if it's not too late!

Comments

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Monday 30 March 2015 10:54

Your roommate is a dumbass.

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:43

If he truly believes that then yes he is. But I believe he kept those hundreds of dollars for himself.

CAC_Boomerang 24

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Monday 30 March 2015 15:54

#18 I agree... Of course there's a bunch of stupid people out there, but to think a flat piece of plastic with a signature on the back will malfunction on contact with water seems almost too stupid...

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Tuesday 31 March 2015 3:30

Not any sort of dumb ass, Red Foreman approved

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Tuesday 31 March 2015 9:20

Aye. Roommate should replace them

micassures_fml 19

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Monday 30 March 2015 10:54

Try and search the trash if it's not too late!

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Monday 30 March 2015 10:57

Definitely the way to go! Sorry OP

CM707 14

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Monday 30 March 2015 14:39

I would make the room mate search it.

Woedel 25

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Monday 30 March 2015 10:57

Why did you keep giftcards worth 'hundreds of dollars' in a place where water could be spilled on them?

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:14

#stopvictimblaming

Woedel 25

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:17

It's easy access for the roommate to hundreds of dollars, by the way. Are you sure he threw them away? He could be smarter than we think!

escapingreality 19

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Monday 30 March 2015 12:51

@clemscott...who's to say she was victim blaming...to me it seems she's asking a genuine question...and to be truthful it's a question I was going to ask as well

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Monday 30 March 2015 13:58

#10 By the sounds of this FML, OP had the gift cards just laying on the counter, probably by the sink, where anyone could easily find them (or spill water on them apparently). Even if I have the most trustworthy, honest roommates in the world, I wouldn't keep anything valuable like that within their sights. FYL OP for having a shitty roommate, but you also deserve it for being careless with your gift cards.

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Monday 30 March 2015 15:59

I agree, the roommate stole them. take them to small claims court, dont forget to ask for court fees! even if they didn't steal them they are still responsible.

Dean__Winchester 16

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:00

That's why wallets and other things have been invented, and your roommate is a dumbass

KawaiiPinkie 11

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Tuesday 31 March 2015 8:03

I read that in Jensens voice ^^

yuno_gasai_fml 34

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:00

Is your roommate a moron?

hoosiergirl94 31

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:02

I said YDI only bc bc why is that much money just sitting out?

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:07

think he shuld pay ur rent for a couple months, call it even

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:10

Just give him a pat on the head and a box of Special K.

SweetasCandy0609 28

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:20

smack to the head he should of had a V8, your roommate is not that bright sorry OP.

WaltzingPhanthom 23

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Monday 30 March 2015 11:21

Drown him. Refuse to bury him. He's been rendered useless by his wetness.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 55

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 143