By Anonymous - 13/2/2021 11:01

Sounds fishy

Today, I told my wife I wasn’t comfortable with her going out with an old guy friend. Petty, sure, but our sex life is non-existent. I found out that she's been seeing him behind my back for months, spent the night with him last week and claims there’s nothing going on. Trying to decide whether I should stay or go. FML
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  coius  |  23

I’ve been through this and no amount of denial and trying to convince yourself she’s faithful is going to make this better. And trust me, it’s going to hurt. My ex did it with what I thought was my best friend.

I seriously implore you to reach out to some good friends you can trust, as you are going to need support to go through this this. Therapist might be necessary too, not for both, but just for you. So you can cope, because you will go through the stages of grief on this.

I’m not sure if I honestly hurt via many broken bones in my life (22 to count to this date including snapping my femur 2x like a toothpick), as much as my ex cheating did. Wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, but no matter how it may make you think it’s not over, I seriously implore you to get a separation on record asap, because if she gets pissed at you accusing her, or you leaving, she can run up credit cards and because you are considered liable until a court recognizes the separation, you could be liable for any expenses she racks up. And it will make things more complicated when the divorce comes, as you don’t want something she did stupidly to screw you in the end.

If you don’t have kids, that makes it a bit less messy, but if you do, they will need therapy. Try not to do anything revenge-like, as it can and will backfire. I’ve not been a party to, but have been a witness to revenge, and saw the consequences of it. Jail time isn’t pretty, nor going to make things better. So just pack your bags and leave. And get a lawyer. A decent one. If you cheap out, you may regret it.

COMMENTS
By  juggalo2  |  15

Sounds like you have very significant issues about honesty. If she doesn't see this as an issue, or isn't willing to address it, then the relationship is probably over.

By  red6joker  |  7

sounds like there is an affair going on that she is trying to hide. you can Google it and read a ton of stories on reddit or youtube about the exact same thing. gotta take care of yourself.

By  coius  |  23

I’ve been through this and no amount of denial and trying to convince yourself she’s faithful is going to make this better. And trust me, it’s going to hurt. My ex did it with what I thought was my best friend.

I seriously implore you to reach out to some good friends you can trust, as you are going to need support to go through this this. Therapist might be necessary too, not for both, but just for you. So you can cope, because you will go through the stages of grief on this.

I’m not sure if I honestly hurt via many broken bones in my life (22 to count to this date including snapping my femur 2x like a toothpick), as much as my ex cheating did. Wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, but no matter how it may make you think it’s not over, I seriously implore you to get a separation on record asap, because if she gets pissed at you accusing her, or you leaving, she can run up credit cards and because you are considered liable until a court recognizes the separation, you could be liable for any expenses she racks up. And it will make things more complicated when the divorce comes, as you don’t want something she did stupidly to screw you in the end.

If you don’t have kids, that makes it a bit less messy, but if you do, they will need therapy. Try not to do anything revenge-like, as it can and will backfire. I’ve not been a party to, but have been a witness to revenge, and saw the consequences of it. Jail time isn’t pretty, nor going to make things better. So just pack your bags and leave. And get a lawyer. A decent one. If you cheap out, you may regret it.

By  tounces7  |  27

This is a test.

Your cheating wife is testing you to see how big of a gullible idiot you are.

If you pass she gets free alimony for years or more, if you fail you'll be miserable the rest of your life.

Probably the best thing you can do is just cheat on her too.

By  suntrkr  |  7

Make plans to get out of there without her knowing about it. Reach out to some friends or family that you can trust. And I mean absolutely trust. They don't have to take sides, but you're gonna need some help. You have to steel yourself to the terrible truth of the situation. Rent a storage unit in your name, plan to move your belongings out when she's not there. Open a bank account in your name only and on moving day close out all the joint accounts, transferring the funds into your account. It sounds harsh, but you can always give her money as you go along. I can promise you that she wouldn't be so generous. Finally and most importantly hire a divorce attorney who specializes in men's rights in those type of cases. You don't have to file right away, but at least you'll be protected when she does. Take as many of the marital assets as you can. Like I said, you can always be generous later. Whatever she gets her hands on will be gone forever. Good luck to you.