By Singleagain - 19/04/2016 12:01 - Sint Maarten (Dutch part) - Philipsburg
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@88 my thoughts exactly I can understand being concerned that something is wrong (I tend to text people every day or so, but when people poof, I'm never mad only worried... Hope you find someone who's not a butch op someone who reacts like that isn't worth your time!!
#88 I think people get mad BECAUSE they become worried. I text my boyfriend at least a "good morning" and "good night" every day. If he suddenly stopped answering, I call him and it goes to voicemail, I try to contact his family and none of them know what's going on, I visit him and he doesn't answer the door, etc...I would be VERY worried about him and think something bad had happened. I get that if you only contact each other once a week, then 2 days of no contact is not that much. But if you check in regularly, then a two-day total disappearance with no warning could be very worrisome. So if after the two days I find out he was just chilling in his apartment the whole time, ignoring my texts/calls/visit for absolutely no reason, I would be peeved and I don't think that's unreasonable. If he wants alone time that's fine, but I think the least he could do is give me a head's up rather than simply totally ignoring me and letting me worry sick about him for 48 hours.
#98 But the thing is, most of the comments are precisely asking for more information. They are wondering whether she tried to contact him and he just ignored her or whatever (and then confirming that if he had no legitimate reason and was just ignoring, they would be annoyed too), or whether she made no effort at all. We don't know whether she tried to contact him (or how)...all we know is that he didn't contact her for two days, and it is this lack of information which allows some people to imagine why she might get angry depending on the situation. In either case though, I agree that she's obviously a bitch because even if he WAS ignoring her that's no reason to cheat.
Anyways, the point of my comment was in response to your assertion that people who would be angry after the two days were clingy because they should be worried instead, and that even the fact that people like to talk to each other every day is clingy and desparate. Maybe this is not what you meant, but it's how I interpreted it, and I just wanted to point out that the anger often stems from the worry itself. And you also expressed that opinion in the comment thread below, where the comments were specifically asking him whether she tried to contact him in other ways and he ignored her for no reason, and that if this was the case they'd be upset too. So I'm saying that imo if someone tries to contact you because they're worried, you simply ignore them with no reason, then I agree with others that being angry (NOT cheating) is a legit reaction.
#102 yeah, obviously not, but thatonechick has been commenting that they're suprised ANYONE would be angry if their SO suddenly stopped contacting them for two days without warning or reason, and that people who would be upset are clingy and obviously don't worry about their SO. And that is the part I am disagreeing with. That the gf is a scumbag, I agree on totally.
Even if you didn't text her back out of respect and love for your relationship she should've had the patience or come to your house to see if you were okay. For all she knows you could've gotten into an accident or something (hope not but that's just an example) My boyfriend has had his phone broken for a couple days before and not been able to communicate or talk with me. And I didn't just assume he broke it off
#113 Look, I get your point. IF there was no communication whatsoever, IF she did not try to contact him in any way, and IF he ignored her for legit reasons (like busy, phone broke, etc…), then yes she is being clingy. And of course, even if she was not clingy she was still in the wrong for jumping to conclusions and cheating. But I think you ARE being biased towards commenters based on your own experiences, because they are writing comments specifically about OTHER hypothetical situations. For example comment number 2 says she’d be peeved if her bf ceased communication with no explanation. #39 says it depends on whether she tried to communicate [in other ways] or not. #10 says being upset if the lack of communication is with no notice and for no reason. #47 says wanting alone time is fine but that it's more considerate to give warning before disappearing [so no one worries] #34 says she’d be freaked out and worried. Etc… And all of them say cheating is NOT an appropriate reaction. They are not talking about being angry simply because they craved attention, and despite the fact that their bf had a perfectly good reason for not contacting them. They are saying they’d be annoyed and find it inconsiderate if they were worried sick and tried to contact their bf in various ways, and in the end it turned out he ignored them for NO reason (so he wasn’t busy with life or school work, his phone was not broken, he wasn’t hurt or injured, he just had NO reason). Because (while it seems unbelievable) there are many people who will ignore their gf/bf’s worried texts/calls simply because they don’t give a shit about whether that person is feeling worried and stressed. I mean, you said yourself "if OP ...shows he intentionally ignored her, she was worried, she tried contacting him different ways, etc, then of course my opinion of him would change to "dude what the fuck?" for the specific situation" and that is EXACTLY the type of situation those comments address. Sure, you thought it was obvious that the FML girl was not worried about him, had not tried to contact him at all, and that the bf had a legit reason why he didn’t answer. And honestly, I interpreted it similarly. But they clearly interpreted it differently, so I don’t think it makes sense to judge them and call them “clingy” for their opinion on a hypothetical situation which is completely different than the situation you described. Heck, they aren’t even saying the guy definitely did this. They are just asking him for more details, giving a completely alternative explanation to yours which they believe could justify worry/annoyance but NOT cheating, and then relating how they’d react in said situation.
I really have to agree. No idea why the massive number of out votes is there. No where in the world is there a law or rule that says you have to respond to your bf/gf at least once a day. More than that assuming you broke up with her and sleeping with other guys two days after the fact. Sounds like she never gave a damn to begin with. I mean who ever down voted you must be girls or guys who would have done the same thing she did. Sure if you like someone you talk to them but maybe she didn't think to herself "Maybe something happened and his phone died", or "Maybe he is really busy with stuff." I mean i have no idea why txting should be a make or break. Because if it is a make or break who ever you are with DOES NOT give a damn.
Well, this depends, did you just not text or completely cease communication for no reason? She's still overreacting, but I might be a little peeved too, if my boyfriend dropped off the planet with no explanation for two days.
I'd be slightly peeved too (if he had no good reason), but I don't think that's a reason/excuse to cheat on him with multiple other guys. For all she knew, he got into an accident or was very ill or something terrible happened, etc...explaining his silence. Being annoyed or angry I'd understand, but cheating just seems like a scumbag move imo.
Really? So you can't spend two days with no contact with your girlfriend?? I said Girlfriend, not wife or a girl you share your house with... It sounds absolutely normal to me, and she has no excuse... It is not even worth worrying. I would add that if there is no contact in 2 days, it also mean she did not text (we don't know if it is the case here, though)
Or maybe she was just looking for an excuse to cheat on you. I personally think you dodged a bullet.
Is there any reason for the lack of contact? Had you been fighting before? This needs follow up
Wow..I didn't know that people rely on texting way too much instead of assuming that they don't care about you, how about assuming they were busy with something, don't feel like texting or whatever reason that's harmless. I tend to do that at times, sometimes, I would be in the middle of texting and forget to send or complete it. My mom always thought something happened to me if I don't reply right away, lol. I would tell her I was either working or forgot to reply which is the truth.
It does seem like the GF has used it as an excuse however it is possibly there are other circumstances. For all we know they had a massive fight 2 days ago, with anger fuelled threats of ending it or questions of why they bother being with each other. The GF could have texted him and not received replies and assumed the threats were real
Really two days without talking and she thinks you guys broke up? Looks like she was looking for an excuse to leave you. Hell my gf and I don't talk for almost a week at times doesn't mean we broke up though. Edit: looks like numbers 3 and 5 beat me to the punch
Did you usually speak daily, and did you give her a heads up that you'd be unavailable for 2 days? If not, was there a reason you couldn't contact her? Cheating isn't ok, but I can understand her being upset if you dropped off the planet with no notice and for no reason. Perhaps that was her way of dumping you (not a good way, but it is a possibility).