Successful breakups and Love: Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with...

By Ace - 01/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 774

You deserved it 1 784

Successful breakups Love

Our house, in the middle of our street

Own it

Vulture

By Inthedumps - 23/07/2014 00:51 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 830

You deserved it 3 590

Investing in the future

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 23:00 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, after years of being underpaid, I received my first paycheck at my new job. My new employer offers excellent benefits and a 401k. But after I invest in all these wonderful things, and after a $4 an hour pay increase, my net income is less than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 148

By GoAggies - 21/06/2016 17:11 - United States - Herriman

Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 915

You deserved it 2 482

By Anonymous - 19/04/2012 04:46 - United States - Sparks

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 816

You deserved it 4 620

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 298

You deserved it 7 303

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 480

You deserved it 4 042

By Phabia - 21/04/2015 00:16 - United States - Newton

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 888

You deserved it 2 310

Toxic Managers

By impishsamaritan - 07/09/2019 22:00

Today, I had to pretend in front of our director that my manager is a nice person. In reality, she's a soul-sucking bully who has made my life so miserable that twice I was on the brink of nervous breakdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 303

By shit... - 05/07/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 871

You deserved it 23 755

By Baustigt - 22/08/2013 14:48 - Australia - Perth

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 651

You deserved it 13 794

By deserted - 01/09/2010 07:05 - France

Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 661

You deserved it 7 138

By IlikeGreenPlants - 26/11/2009 02:41 - United States

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 883

You deserved it 54 585

Just love!

By Anonymous - 23/01/2020 18:00

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 503

By _akwardsituation - 01/01/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 199

You deserved it 33 142

By brodinn - 11/04/2014 13:48 - United States - Florence

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 255

You deserved it 5 848

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 00:53 - United States - Wahiawa

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 576

You deserved it 4 587

By Steve - 28/04/2012 13:57 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 347

You deserved it 2 291

By oops - 30/07/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 120

You deserved it 7 091

Perv

By niquey62307 - 08/12/2009 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 240

You deserved it 5 733

By out of the closet - 26/04/2016 00:22 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I had to tell the third guy that my mother set me up with that it wasn't him, it's me. Apparently my mother thinks if she sets me up with enough guys, I will "date the gay out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 761

You deserved it 1 519

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 05:43 - United States

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 595

You deserved it 3 859

By RedWaters - 06/03/2013 20:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 382

You deserved it 15 853

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 202

You deserved it 6 205

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 222

You deserved it 3 832

By NaurLalaith - 10/08/2016 16:26

Today, I bought an iPhone SE, so my mom decided to sell my old iPhone 5 on Craigslist. Since the 5 and SE look exactly the same, she ended up selling my SE instead of the 5 for $100. The buyer refuses to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 940

You deserved it 2 080

By northernlass - 20/09/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 2 663

Today, on "Dr. Phil"…

By Anonymous - 06/08/2020 02:01

Today, my dad got upset when one of his employees showed a romantic interest in my mom. Both parents were totally fine, though, with that same employee announcing his engagement to my 15-year-old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 07/03/2013 03:14 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 294

You deserved it 4 393

Creepypasta

By QuinnyZebrass - 02/04/2013 04:11 - United States - Laveen

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 724

You deserved it 3 407

Healthcare for all

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 11:01

Today, I’m massively depressed and I live in a state that will prosecute you for attempted suicide, but will do nothing to help you afford mental health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 81

Freudian slip

By guaranteed service - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wrote an e-mail to a friend stating how hot my client was. I waited for her response, but received a response from my client stating, "I would readdress this accordingly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 298

You deserved it 35 608

By Julia - 04/10/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, I was denied a waitressing job at a local diner I have been going to for years. Due to the fact that my name is Julia. They already have a waitress there named Julie. Apparently, I would "create too much confusion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 2 527

Boo!

By Today - 29/09/2019 16:08

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 331

By icecreamer - 06/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 957

You deserved it 12 687

By moon_paw - 28/11/2009 16:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 970

You deserved it 10 574

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 044

You deserved it 2 008

By Anonymous - 24/05/2017 20:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, at my first day of work at a new job, I got stuck in the elevator going to the parking garage. I have claustrophobia about both elevators and parking garages. They said this never happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 083

You deserved it 380

By blue. - 19/05/2011 23:32

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 136

You deserved it 3 437

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 181

You deserved it 2 687

By notmuchfun - 20/07/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 360

You deserved it 4 664

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

TeacherTeacher 11

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:35

If he calls you in a couple of days and is "willing to give you another chance," hang up and block his number.

ThatHorse 15

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:30

You dodged an abusive bullet there OP.

ThatHorse 15

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:30

You dodged an abusive bullet there OP.

Nahpets 22

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:37

This. You are lucky to do so

Brandi_Faith 33

Send a private message

Saturday 2 April 2016 3:51

I don't see how what he did could be considered as him being abusive. It sounds to me like he was a jerk that wasn't interested in being with op. He didn't show up to the dates (probably figured she'd take the hint and never call again) then she sent a text and he used it as an excuse to dump her because he's the type of jerk that feels he needs an excuse, and one where the blame lies on her so nothing's his fault. Definitely a jerk that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, but I don't see how you can claim he'd probably be abusive after this one FML. Maybe I'm missing something in the FML, but I feel like people throw that word around way to lightly and any guy that's a jerk or mean can now be labeled as abusive, which is a pretty serious accusation in my book.

brezzyanna 17

Send a private message

Saturday 2 April 2016 18:38

I agree, it sounds like he just doesn't like OP. But if he calls again and asks to hang out, then it's more of a sign that he would be abusive. It's the controlling factor. Abusive people usually want everything don on their terms, so they can text you whenever but you can't text them. Although a lot of the time, abusive people are very nice and charismatic at the beginning of the relationship. But I didn't get an abusive vibe from the fml, just an uninterested one.

moodyreallyrocks 27

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:30

Not worth your time..

emi_alejandra 23

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:30

Wow Op I'm sorry! But don't worry. Someone better will come along

Ali_Br_fml 33

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:31

Yeah, be obviously has something else going on there. Probably just looking for a reason to dump you. Smh. Don't even give him the time of day if he comes to his senses. Standing you up twice? he can go to hell.

TeacherTeacher 11

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:35

If he calls you in a couple of days and is "willing to give you another chance," hang up and block his number.

nonsensical 26

Friday 1 April 2016 23:05

Make sure he hears you laugh before you hang up though. That step is crucial!

sophiehelen 32

Send a private message

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:25

No, organise a date and don't turn up

WCARlover 34

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:37

Hahah sounds like a guy I was involved with who stopped talking to me and I texted him first once, because I even had a weird thing about not texting first at the time, and he told a mutual friend I just texted him way too much. So ridiculous, onto the next one OP!

elizacandle 29

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:38

you're better off.

blcksocks 19

Send a private message

Friday 1 April 2016 16:38

Tell him you had one of your girlfriends join, hoping for a threesome on both occasions, but he never showed up.

neuronerd 28

Friday 1 April 2016 16:41

Anyone who stands you up is not worth your time. Yes, emergencies can happen, but thare didn't seem to be the case here. Rejection hurts, but you're better off.