Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Today, I went to open my bedroom curtains while still in my pajamas, which, in my defense, were just a very oversized T-shirt. I didn’t realize the window cleaners were outside until I heard one of them say, “Morning!” We made prolonged eye contact before I slowly closed the curtains like I was lowering the lid on my own coffin. FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, I locked myself out while taking the trash downstairs. I was wearing pajamas, slippers, and a winter coat over nothing else. My neighbor offered to help, then spent ten minutes trying not to laugh while I explained that my keys were sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
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Top comments
screwtaylor 0
Your neighbor secretly liked it. They just haven't seen such a un-saggy, young penis in a long time.
24788 7
Hopefully every time you walk by her she doesn't wink and lick her lips. I would avoid that neighbor.
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Comments (141)
SCREWIT666 0
Shit this is nothing. I answered the door once in college in my boxers so I could "donate" to the Universitie's Women's Rugby Team. I didn't give any money, but she gave me a smile so I guess I donated anyway.
ScaryyMary 14
Maybe the little dude wanted to come out and play, maybe meet some new friends...
Carnifex_fml 0
Haha! Dude, Thats happened to me before!
loserboii 11
umm people noy many people think rationally when they get up and they Are tired. OP:dont worry i sleep naked that is not very embarassing :)
canucksrule88 0
FYL man
sc27 0
How did you not notice that?
fergiesman 0
were you hard? If you weren't that makes it a litttle better because you havin a woody would've made her think you dig her
McFail_fml 4
She was probably hoping she can put her can near your opener
fergiesman 0
she's gonna ask for the "can opener" more often.
Ligerie 0
.
hahathatsux 0
how the hell would you not notice? even in my laziest moments my dick is always in check YDI