Miscellaneous: Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly...

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 21 623

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Same thing different taste

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 670

By anonymous - 16/11/2011 03:17 - Canada

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 460

You deserved it 33 939

Like the beginning of a porno

By Anonymous - 15/07/2020 23:01

Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 817

You deserved it 1 615

Trash day

By AlfieBoyo - 06/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 141

She's lost control again

By Taylor - 11/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 160

By nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 719

You deserved it 4 322

Nothing to see here

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to open my bedroom curtains while still in my pajamas, which, in my defense, were just a very oversized T-shirt. I didn’t realize the window cleaners were outside until I heard one of them say, “Morning!” We made prolonged eye contact before I slowly closed the curtains like I was lowering the lid on my own coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 245

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 044

You deserved it 2 607

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 22:27 - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 739

You deserved it 40 640

Eyebleach

By Lexxxiii - 22/12/2020 23:02

Today, while delivering an Amazon package, I arrived to this one house where the man was outside, so I just handed it to him. As he was reaching for it, his robe popped open. Twice. He was wearing nothing but the robe, and he was your typical fat, hairy, 40-year-old man. My poor eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 155

screwtaylor 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:13

Your neighbor secretly liked it. They just haven't seen such a un-saggy, young penis in a long time.

24788 6

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:16

Hopefully every time you walk by her she doesn't wink and lick her lips. I would avoid that neighbor.

Comments

madZONE_fml 0

Friday 28 August 2009 2:42

at least u didn't get a boner...or did you?

2bad4life 0

Friday 28 August 2009 2:45

hot, ... at least she didnt hit on u

OMGitsKaleyxo 0

Friday 28 August 2009 3:05

aw. poor lady. u probably made her die.

NELU_fml 0

Friday 28 August 2009 3:07

lol, I had somewhat the same expierence. My junk popped out for about 2 seconds while I was talking to someone. I guess that's y pajamas have a button in the front, lol

staplergunn 0

Friday 28 August 2009 3:14

i bet she liked it, i know michael jackson would have,, hmmm,

jonny2x4 0

Friday 28 August 2009 3:48

Letting Junior out for some fresh air , eh? Next time, secure the barn door, son.

stixjd90 0

Friday 28 August 2009 4:08

ouch....that's brutal. It's gonna be awkward the next time you see your neighbor.

Whirling_Kumquat 0

Friday 28 August 2009 4:15

Of course she was scowling! You were so rude not to introduce her to your little buddy. Well you can redeem yourself when she cum- *ahem!* COMES over to return the can opener.

plexico 3

Friday 28 August 2009 4:16

You must have one ugly penis. It must really look awful if an old lady scowls at it compared to her husband's dried up man meat. Can't you at least make it ACT pretty?

Emma_91 0

Friday 28 August 2009 4:28

rofl

TheUnthinkable 0

Friday 28 August 2009 6:08

haha, great job, plexico. you, my man, are awesome. good job with the referance to the other FML. i laughed so hard (yes, people reading this, i LAUGHED, not "lol"ed.)