Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Today, I went to open my bedroom curtains while still in my pajamas, which, in my defense, were just a very oversized T-shirt. I didn’t realize the window cleaners were outside until I heard one of them say, “Morning!” We made prolonged eye contact before I slowly closed the curtains like I was lowering the lid on my own coffin. FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, I locked myself out while taking the trash downstairs. I was wearing pajamas, slippers, and a winter coat over nothing else. My neighbor offered to help, then spent ten minutes trying not to laugh while I explained that my keys were sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
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Top comments
screwtaylor 0
Your neighbor secretly liked it. They just haven't seen such a un-saggy, young penis in a long time.
24788 7
Hopefully every time you walk by her she doesn't wink and lick her lips. I would avoid that neighbor.
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Comments (141)
TheTruth1428 0
YDI. Unless you have something really tiny there, you'd notice the difference in feeling when it's out free.
mandoopandoo 0
Pics or it didn't happen. ;) Wish I could have been your neighbor.
jcassiere91 0
HAHAHA that might be the second funniest fml i've ever read YDI though
DameGreyWulf 1
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH aw that's too bad Flashing old people. At least you didn't get a boner.
Xephik 1
Def not an YDI. Fellow guys, think about it. Its happened to all of us before (In private though). Half the time we don't even notice until we sit down or something.
zymn 6
sounds like the beginning of an interesting porno...
nodbor 11
to bad you didn't know or you could have asked her if there was anything else she needed opened
doof_fisch 2
Why would an elderly neighbor NOT have a can opener? You owe her an apology. Take over a can of cocktail weenies.
Ryozo_Kato 0
Lol xD
dyld921 2
Hot.
feminist19 0
YDI for being turned on by elderly women
ianzorzes 0
well this probably took place in the morning so its called morning wood dumbass
theycallmecarl 0
where did it say he had wood? i've woken up with my junk hanging out of my boxers.