Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
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Top comments
princessbloky 12
You couldn't have known. Just take it easy and try to reassure her.
ruckfules85 34
she cant be too mad if its your first time noticing. Especially if she never told you.
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Comments (135)
AuTiAlloy 8
Good thing this turned up now. But jokes asside you were kind of a jerk and should be more understanding and mature next time.
greatfirstdate 18
He thought it was a fold in her jeans; as long as he tries to handle it well after this, he's not at fault for her insecurities.
buffy999 11
ITS A FEMALE!!!
sprints54 19
So your not the only one in the relationship with a micropenis lol
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
OP is female.
plaguebearer 1
haha totally made me lol
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
If you were a guy you could have told her that it was great cause now you'd never have to worry about not being able to find her clit. It's a little harder for a girl to pull that joke off though.
squizzlebee 19
I can't believe there are GUYS who can't seem to find the clit. It's not like it's hard to miss.
Talonshere 14
@41 Do you literally know nothing?
Mynxie 26
She should have been honest about it shortly after you got serious instead of hiding it.
jocamo 24
They are taking it slow. It mustn't have gotten too serious yet.
hatchetface33 4
Deformity? I'm curious...:|
carlyggibby 18
could you do a follow up? Unless it's too personal. I'm just really curious. does she have a penis?
fyvaprold 11
Sounds like something caused by Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
kirkaygri 18
I was going to say the exact same thing. Enlarged ********. It can be life threatening and is largely misunderstood. Yea! For awareness!
kirkaygri 18
Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, if that's the cause, she may need treatment for other issues. And if she's that uncomfortable with it, surgery is always an option. It's a fairly simple surgery. But she shouldn't ever be ashamed of herself no matter how she looks.
press_start_bro 21
that poor girl...