Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
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Top comments
princessbloky 12
You couldn't have known. Just take it easy and try to reassure her.
ruckfules85 34
she cant be too mad if its your first time noticing. Especially if she never told you.
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Comments (135)
beeferjay 34
how tiny are we talking here? Like angry inch tiny?
Kitty_Kat16 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
not to be rude but why wouldn't she just get it removed
rldostie 19
Why should she have to? It's cosmetic, not life threatening.
Kitty_Kat16 16
because she's obviously self conscious about it if she just git it fixed it would stop affecting her life
leogachi 15
@33 No, it really wouldn't. If she had surgery she would be worried about the scarring and still would be explaining that she had a deformity removed. That doesn't affect her life any less, so why go through surgery?
sturschaedel 27
Also, do you know how many nerve endings there are in every inch of clit tissue, no matter how large it gets? She might lose the capability to ****** ever again. No matter how it affects her self esteem, it's never worth practically castrating herself!
kirkaygri 18
The surgery is actually a pretty simple one. Usually home 24 hours after, sore for a few weeks and then fine. The scarring is minimal and heals quickly. It's a common surgery for newborn baby girls born with ambiguous genitalia (which can be caused by a lot of things, but the biggest is am adrenal disorder, Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, where your adrenal glands don't produce enough cortisol to keep you alive but produces excess androgens to make up for the loss in cortisol)
helveeta 11
We don't even know what the "deformity" is! Lol
geminijojo 10
Don't get why ppl are hating on your comment!! She should get it removed it obviously bothers her.. And yes of course it would help her self-esteem to look and feel better about herself. Freaking idiots.
DoomedGemini 38
People here are only guessing as to what it is, and even then do you people realize surgeries cost money? She might not have the money to do it.
alitairi 18
what if she's too young to be allowed to make the choice for herself, and her parents won't let her?
rhiley 26
not to be rude but why don't you **** off?
rldostie 19
Probably an enlarged ********
ezrajab 22
Sorry op it happens. You couldn't have known if she didn't tell you. I hope it works out.
Ilovelife93 9
Ohhhhh...I'm sorry to hear that OP..you seem like the type of guy who is a sweetheart and your gf should have no problem "revealing her insecurities" to you..
Elban 20
it's a fem, dykella, gg
redhead_sprhro 10
20 nothing said alluded to him being a sweetheart.
juggalo2 22
OP referred to herself as Dykella.
thatonetribute 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Way to destroy your self esteem. Tread lightly when it comes to a girl's body image. Seriously, just a few words can destroy your confidence.
leogachi 15
@21 That's not true for every girl, and I'm sure Op knows what her girlfriend's insecurities are better than you do. It could be that she only has this one body issue, and since Op didn't know about it it's not her fault that her girlfriend was upset.
HerpNdurp88 0
Ya OP is a girl I'm sure she is aware of female feelings n such lol
CharlieM78 9
I just re read it and nowhere does it say or imply OP is a girl. Just that they have a girlfriend. I'm curious where you made that flying leap from.
taterrtots 25
the OP's gender symbol is a girl. the flying leap is from us seeing that.
geminijojo 10
@21 maybe a few words can destroy YOUR confidence.. Damn that's got to be a sucky way to live
CharlieM78 9
Really cause I looked for that before commenting and once again before this reply there's no gender symbol. I'm fully aware of those symbols and since it was posted anonymously there's no gender symbol. So once again flying leap stands. Bring on the negative votes sheeple.
DoomedGemini 38
There's a female symbol.
CharlieM78 9
Not on the iPhone app. Anyway I'm giving up this argument I must be wrong but on my iPhone app there is no symbol trust me I've looked very hard. Just FML trying to make me look dumb
addioty 19
I have the iPhone app and it's definitely here.
jeepers_1 21
top lefthand corner beside where it says "anonymous"
Jets4Life89 4
Be like "you gots a diiick!" And run away.
puppie406 23
Aaand that's why you're single.
PANDORUM89 21
That and they like the Jets. But seriously though sometimes cracking a joke can lighten an embarrassing situation but I'm 99% positive leaving after telling someone who identifies as a female that they have a dick is not the way to make them feel better.
geminijojo 10
@22 LMAO! Geez ppl lighten the **** up! I'm sure he wuz kidding... Weren't u?
mercumorr 20
intersex?
ObsidianDrone 8
That would be awesome
ObsidianDrone 8
An enlarged clit would feel so good because it would constantly get rubbed