Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
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Top comments
princessbloky 12
You couldn't have known. Just take it easy and try to reassure her.
ruckfules85 34
she cant be too mad if its your first time noticing. Especially if she never told you.
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Comments (135)
herofaircloth 18
Don't be a douche.
sleepyglowstar 32
Please give us more information. What happened next???
ShirtlessWonder 17
#6, is it your personal goal to post the dumbest replies you can on every recent FML?
UnluckyChibi 8
Oh dear D: I'm sure you guys will work it out! FML to you indeed tho >~<
OverFlash 15
... Is it bad that I'm curious about what kind of "deformity"? I mean, as a transman, I joke about my boobs being a deformity.
GingerFace09 13
As some have said, it may just be an enlarged ********.
rabbi1010 29
Yeah, sucks you didnt know op, but when youre taking it slow you should keep jokes like that to youself. Maybe it would be something to joke about years down the line, when you both are extremely comfortable with each other. And even then its a big maybe.
countryguy91290 16
62 He was just making a light joke and had no knowledge of said issue. he was being himself and I am pretty sure he apologized and things are good now.
DoomedGemini 38
*she but yeah, they meant taking it slow like sexually I'm pretty sure. It doesn't mean they are not already very close.
sallen14 8
Why would you joke about that to begin with
countryguy91290 16
why wouldn't you?
I can't stand leg puns! 23
Even though you couldn't have known, never EVER discuss a girl's look or body in any way other than a compliment, even if it's a joke. Trust me, it doesn't end well
jocamo 24
I had a guy tell me my winter hat made me look like an Ewok. Ended fine.
Scorpio01 16
I won't label it as a deformity... Just That everyone is different.. So make her feel comfortable and remind her that she is one and unique.
kendalbear 16
Deformities aren't for you to decide, idiot.
sunny354wi 8
What's happening down under? :P