InYourFace1_fml

Great question, I'm glad you asked

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted, "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML