By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 05:57 - United States - Hudsonville

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 055
You deserved it 1 791

Same thing different taste

Top comments

She gets bonus points if her answer involved a fraction or decimal.


This. ^ The perfect dad joke for this scenario

There are a million fine looking women in the world. Not all of them bring you lasagna at work; most of them just cheat on you.

9 missed the clerks reference, didn't he?

I guess the FML community hasn't seen clerks seeing as 16 got thumbed down.

#16 stop generalising, both men and women cheat, but not all of them do. Oh and by the way, you seem unaware of the fact that women are not made to bring you lasagna, or anything, at work ;) you can do that yourself, although you do seem a bit sexist.

#48, no, women are not "made" to bring you **** all at work. But most kind and caring partners will make an effort to make their other half feel special and do shit like that just to see them smile. Are you the type that yells at a man for opening a door because you're capable of doing it yourself? And we wonder why men don't do nice things these days.

#48 it's a quote from Clerks and continues the 37 -in a row joke also from Clerks. Simmer down.

Thank you #54. I was quoting one of my all time favorite movies. The cheating part of the quote aside, either partner should be willing to do things like bring them lunch at work or do something nice without any thought of payback.

Just wants to make sure his little boy is safe from STIs! :p

You can have one sexual partner and still contract an STD. Numbers don't necessarily signify anything other than your level of promiscuity.

29, true, but assuming the same amount of protection (or lack thereof) is used, someone who has slept with dozens of people is more likely to have contracted some sort of disease than someone who has only slept with one or two. Of course, you could have unprotected sex with 100 people and remain clean, and you can get unlucky and sleep with one person and get an STD, but both aren't overly likely. And then there's the added consideration between different types of STDs, as the bacterial ones are curable and fairly mild if caught early, while the viral ones tend to be lifelong companions.

OptimusSlime 23

Ah yes, parents not respecting people's privacy. What a shocker

She gets bonus points if her answer involved a fraction or decimal.

ChristianH39 30

Smartassery is always the way to go.

A parent asking their kid's significant other how many sexual partners they've had? That is definitely not normal. And if it is, the son/daughter (son in this case) needs to have a serious talk about privacy and acceptable behavior with their parent. That's something significant others discuss between each other, the parent(s) should not be involved in that at all, as it doesn't effect them and isn't any of their business.

If all parties involved are comfortable then it shouldn't be such a problem. It may not be normal to have that kind of conversation but that doesn't make it wrong. Also, it's affect, not effect.

This sounds like something the dad sprang on the girlfriend and his son out of the blue. That is not ok, and it is wrong in that case. If a parent is planning on having this kind of conversation, they need to let their child know beforehand to see if they're ok with it, and also so they can let their SO know, so they're not taken by surprise either, and to make sure that they're with it comfortable too. Also, there's supposed to be a comma in between the word "conversation" and "but." Don't be snooty, we all make grammar mistakes sometimes.

Hey #24, I apologize if I offended you. I wasn't being snooty, I was simply pointing it out before someone else did (you know how this site goes). I may just be playing devil's advocate here, but all I was trying to say was that it's not always something that you should feel uncomfortable speaking with your parents about. I am very forthcoming with my parents about myself and I can truly say that it is a relief not to have to worry about not being honest with myself or those around me. I hope that I have offered some clarity on my previous comment by illustrating that while it may not necessarily apply to everybody and their situation, a person shouldn't feel ashamed of their past (intimate or not).

That's ok, these types of comments and forums don't always convey tone properly. I apologize too, for my reaction. It was honestly just a slip up, I'm actually quite a grammar nazi a lot of the time and definitely know the difference between "affect" and "effect." I get what you're saying, and I think it is good for parents to have an open dialogue with their kids about sex. It helps so they know they can come to their parents if they ever need help, or have a problem and won't be awkward or feel criticized. I was also definitely not implying that having a sexual past, no matter how many partners or whatever, is something to be ashamed about, it is nothing to be ashamed of. I was just saying that the dad bringing this up to the gf like that so suddenly was not only inconsiderate, but also pretty rude. Unless you're sleeping with the person, generally you shouldn't question people about their sex life. It comes off as kind of critical and judgemental. Especially the way this was worded, "so how many guys have you screwed before my son?" Not to mention incredibly awkward if it's another person's parents that are asking you this, because honestly why do they need to know?

He probably doesn't like her and is trying to scare her away...

I think it would be quite appropriate to retort with something along the lines of "Hey dad, how is that Viagra working for your erectile dysfunction?" followed by a sympathetic hand on the shoulder. I doubt he would keep asking inappropriate questions after that.

vintageart1994 16

Sounds like something I would do if I was a parent.