Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
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Top comments
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
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Comments (325)
Darkenwrath 0
#27- ha you moron, you clearly don't know how to please a women. Also it was probably peach fuzz and you're overreacting. Its perfectly normal and nothing the girl should have to apologise for or do anything about. If you're that conservative then you are going to have problems later on in life.
icanhazlizard 0
@gatita: Apology accepted. =) In response to your questions...of course washing and proper hygiene are very different from shaving, especially when it comes to parts of the body that aren't normally visible to the public. I guess the whole "natural" argument doesn't really hold up. What *does* hold up is that the choice of which parts of the body one should shave is personal. The fuzz that girls sometimes get on their breasts, though it's normal, can be troublesome, and if a girl wants to remove it with laser removal and has the means to do so, that's her choice. But if she doesn't want to take that step, that's also her choice. And doesn't laser removal cost money?? Same with the mustache. Women with hair on their upper lips tend to be stigmatized, it's true, because facial hair is so closely associated with men; so, most of them choose to remove it. It's important to note, too, that that's much less complicated than dealing with hair in other places. But if a woman chose not to do that, I wouldn't begrudge her. Ultimately, they're *our* bodies. I'm just a little tired of hearing about all the things we need to do to them to make them acceptable. Wow, lots of people agreed with me...cool. *waves to everyone*
jSOPURE 3
Nobody is perfect. Isn't all natural the new thing these days? :)
xkaokaox 0
LOLOL.
rip_andie 0
how much did you drink i wonder..
catatonicsleep 17
I wonder if the OP is one of those guys with a rug on his chest and back, really hairy arms and legs and an explosion of hair down there...... Be funny if he was.
SarlaccBits 0
ew. That's so not right.
elfuzzo 0
I love hairy women. If the op doesn't want to tap that, I will.
hoeskie69 0
Lmfao. That fucken bites! :] haha. I mean shit, we have hair... but damn. Im looking at my boobs, and there is sure as hell, no hair! Haha.
bananapajama 0
#89 Just a quick note, laser hair removal treatment takes SEVERAL visits over the period of SEVERAL months. It's not a "do it once and its gone" thing.