Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
JohnnyAppleseed 0
I love how you censor yourself with the word "****" but not "****." That alone means YDI.
rimbob45 0
liar they did not
Emperor_Jim 0
Nice parenting, you ******* ****.
OohAah01 0
This is my favorite FML on the entire site. I read it to my girlfriend on the phone and was in such laughing hysterics -- like doubled over, snorting, wheezing -- that it took me a few minutes to get all the way through it...and it's what, two sentences? Jeez that was funny. Thanks for sharing.
XxDarkSatoshixX 0
got some badass kids :P
zac2012 0
haha, public schools these days
hellokittywhore 0
Why did you blerp out **** but Not ****!?! lol dumbass
laurenlm 0
stop blaming the parents!! by the time I was 7 I could fluently swear an hav never heard my parents swear once. SO BACK OFF PPL!!!!
ellawea 0
I blame bad perenting....
dochoc_fml 0
probably learned it from their parents