Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
woolfy21 0
wow thats so funny but at the smae time sad
EnchiladaTaco 0
Haha, kids say the darndest things.
Baby_Baby_BABY 0
It might be time to move your Derek & Clive records to the top shelf out of reach ;) ps **** **** **** **** ****
alyse0_fml 0
wow.. they sound like they came right out of that show South Park (favorite show eva!) Maybe Trey and Matt could higher them to do some of the voices he he
TheStatue 5
This is hilarious. At these ages, they don't know what they're saying. That's part of why it's funny. I'm sure that the parents told them not to use these words. Lighten up, everyone.
musicninja 0
I don't see the huge deal here. They're just words! Words which these children will learn eventually. The only real reason the words shouldn't be said is that tight wad sheeple would be offended by them.
ridiculous502 0
Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS AWFUL!! I know kids learn a lot of bad language at a young age these days but 7 and 8!?
caligrrrl 0
I laughed so hard at this! That's so funny. Just imagine when they get older! hahaha.
jr5480 0
**** YEAH!!!! Dude get two bathrooms so that stupid **** and that meat beater can get along that would be the right think to do.
Illumi113 0
Holy crap! Where the hell did 7 and 8-year-old kids learn that type of language?! Do you just let them watch whatever filthy channel they want on TV, including the **** and R-rated movies you leave on when you pass out on the couch drunk? Or maybe they learned it from the things all the random men you pick up off the streets and at bars when you take them home with you and have drunk sex with them on the couch while they watch? Or maybe they learned it at school from their punk-ass friends and the gang-banger eighth graders, with whom you allow your kids to associate because you're too busy shooting up? Or maybe it's from the arguments you have with your husband, whom everyday comes home drunk and dirty, signaling the start of your obscenity-shouting contest? I don't care how far away from you the source of your children's language is, it's there because you neglected to keep them away from such filth. You're a terrible parent. I hope you're proud of yourself, because they're the product of all of the care and nurture you have to offer, which must be a pittance, judging by the sound of them. I hope you're proud of yourself, you inept, incompetent, negligent excuse for a parent. Teach your kids some manners. Maybe, if you REALLY try hard, you can minimize what they learn from the example you've set so far.