Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (880)
ThisRandomChild 0
All I have to say to that is ( . )( . )
KUJAWSKI 0
um I dont know If you know this or not, but your kids sound like they just popped out of jersey shore. hehe. I made a funny
Dark_Angel003 0
You kinda deserved it since your the parent and responsible for their potty mouths.
Xkixk 0
Yeah... This didn't happen.
Flippyflappy48 0
oh my god,, classic
MurderTramp 0
i dnt blame u as a mom i blame skools and shit like tht my 3 yr old sis told me to shut up because i was being to ridouvls to make sense and tht i was annoying hertoo much if tht helps
anon45 6
maybe you shouldn't talk about SCHOOL #838...
sea333 3
put hot sauce on their tongue every time they swear.
btown1616 0
parenting 101
Littlebrraatt 14
13 FTW
Saam143 0
Well someone raised their kids well.