By Suzie - 18/02/2019 16:00
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My father passed away recently and I wrote his obituary. OP’s whining about being left out of the obituary brings up difficult memories. When a person has died, the obituary is about them and those close to the deceased - not every in-law or spouse. Otherwise the obituary just becomes a listing of every possible surviving relative instead of saying something important about the deceased. In my case I was appalled that after a very emotional and heart-felt tribute to my father had been run in the paper, some adult relatives of wife #3 were whining about being left out of the obituary. OP - Try to remember that the obituary was about your father in law and his immediate survivors - Such as the children he raised. Also try to remember that the person writing the obituary is probably dealing with a much greater loss than you suffered. Pull up you big girl pants and be an adult and stop whining about being left out of the obituary when others in that family have lost a much closer relative.
Except the actual wife being replaced by the ex wife is a direct snub by whoever wrote the obituary. Leaving out some peeple is one thing; you can't list all 56 cousins so the fair thing is don't list any cousins and let three of them get mad. But don't list those three cousins and leave out the other 53 and definitely don't list the ex wife while leaving out the wife. That's a bitch move.
To all the peeple saying it's not about her and to get over it, this was a direct snub. It's one thing if none of the spouses were mentioned, then there's no reasonable expectation that she should be. But ALL the spouses were mentioned EXCEPT her. To add insult to injury, she was replaced by the FORMER spouse. Whoever wrote the obituary was taking this opportunity to tell her she's not part of the family. That's pretty eff'd up.
Wow. Really? Your take-away at this is what... you're the 2nd wife, don't provide context on how long you've been together, or how long your husband was with his ex. But this attitude/FML about "boo hoo they didn't include me but everyone is included SO unfair!" makes me wonder if there is a reason why they liked the ex-wife better. Maybe she wasn't an attention whore like you...hell... maybe she was more mature, I don't know your age, but sounds like you have some shit to work with while you take a gap year after high school ends...
On the bright side, you won't have to deal with her again.
It’s not so much that OP wasn’t mentioned but that they completely ignored the fact that her husband is no longer married to wife #1. Basically, the entire family invalidated OP’s marriage.