Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
cutebutpsycho 0
Oh, all the people blaming the schools are right(ish). But I went to a tiny Seventh-day Adventist Christian school and that's where I learned those words. No where is safe. I think it starts with parents or friends, though. Then the kids come to school and HAVE to share their new knowledge.
VERONIKQUE 0
Try not to curse in front of your kids, that hopefully should do the trick.
Irefusetosay 0
I would have guessed about 8 more years on both...
breathemein 10
haha ur USERNAME :P
suaveneanderthal 0
lol #501 does anyone produce a meaningful text message? And yeah i distinctly remember 5th grade being the beggining of the cursing days though i didn't actually catch on with what most of the words meant until about 7th grade... but 7 and 8 year olds damn... and if he was in fact takin care of business then damn look out ladies.
grinn_fml 0
Love how people just jump all over the school systems. LOL Get real. It's called 'life'. Kids can pick up bad words from anywhere they go, it's not specific to the type of school.
Bunbu 8
Well, if you don't want your kids to say those words, teach them otherwise. It's your fault they're saying those things because you didn't teach them it was wrong OR they're so insolent that they don't give a **** about what you say. In my opinion, I wouldn't really care if my kids said those things because they're going to learn them sooner or later. If your kids are doing things you don't want them to, you're a pretty shitty parent.
MajorTom85 0
I laughed. Those are kids I could be friends with... No really, fyl. Kinda sucks, but I'm not gonna judge. I don't know how that stuff works because I'm not a parent. But I'm sure you can break them of saying those words. Also, the girl above me looks like Owen Wilson. Don't listen to her. Your kids aren't doing what you want so you're a shitty parent?
Breennnxx 0
now THATS good parenting.
Tsulu 0
Man, I hope you set them straight. You gotta be strict about this, or they'll do it their whole lives.