Miscellaneous: Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last...

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 917

You deserved it 7 784

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Same thing different taste

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 22:03

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 243

By Unemployed - 16/10/2011 07:15 - United States

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 998

You deserved it 5 658

By Jobless - 13/08/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 982

You deserved it 4 356

By fuck you, tasha - 24/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 8 643

By mareecasellafml - 27/03/2015 09:51 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 433

You deserved it 4 248

By anonymouschicka - 01/08/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 54 439

By captainfail - 14/07/2009 15:27 - Germany

Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 627

You deserved it 74 999

By nojob - 07/05/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 4 473

By stilljobless - 21/05/2015 02:49 - United States - Willimantic

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 547

You deserved it 2 180

By Anyonexx0 - 14/04/2015 18:15 - United States - Washington

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 794

You deserved it 3 781

AnnyPants 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:23

haha, wouldnt you proof-read your resume before you went out? maybe you will in future

TwilghtLuvr13 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:29

Please learn to, use commas correctly

Comments

Pennypoo 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:22

hahaha owned but im sure if u explain they would understand

myballs 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 23:49

This. You need to look at it first.

Ajjas013 6

Sunday 18 October 2009 23:50

Your brother is made of WIN. You guys made my day haha.

BravoUser 0

Monday 19 October 2009 5:43

Lesson 1, re - read. Lesson 2, your brother is a win. Lesson 3, avoid the 30 people who now know your a douchebag. I don't know if i'm either sorry for your, your brother, or the 30 people you handed the resumes to.

maverick21703 0

Monday 19 October 2009 19:28

I am more concerned about why the OP's resume had paragraphs in the first place. Resumes are more of bulleted outlines of skills and experiences.

Zezing 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 19:11

Hahaha Ydi for not proofreading and being a massive bag of douche

j0k32r0x 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 0:26

hahahahahhahahahaha lmfao!!!

cookiepenguin 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 8:31

beat the sh!t out of him

quent10 0

Monday 5 July 2010 19:59

haha win

528Alice491 3

Monday 1 October 2012 19:18

Lmao omg that really sucks but funny as shit

AnnyPants 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:23

haha, wouldnt you proof-read your resume before you went out? maybe you will in future

time4coffee 3

Sunday 18 October 2009 19:26

Next time proofread. Before and after you print. Duh. Explaining my brother did and I didn't notice only makes you look less competent because you didn't check first

notbuyingit 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:27

Lesson learned: Proof read- and then double check EVERYTIME!

TwilghtLuvr13 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:29

Please learn to, use commas correctly

palmtrees 1

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:53

ugh also apostrohpes... you don't need one EVERY TIME you use an "s" on the end of a word, people. For example, you don't need one for plurals. Have people just started skipping elementary school altogether?

liveBabylon 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 21:46

yeah, thats how these days are going, Man....

NY_Giants_42 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:30

Are you?

timewarpist 1

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:52

Haha you shoulda checked them before you printed them out (unless your brother did) or read over them again.

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Sunday 18 October 2009 17:14

hahahahaha your brother is awesome

blueknight1st 26

Sunday 18 October 2009 17:24

You deserved it for being a massive douche bag.

Bredynamite 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 17:29

EPIC win for his bro

perdix 29

Sunday 18 October 2009 17:34

There are some professions (insurance claims rep, tax collector, tech support call center operator) where that is an asset, but you might be dinged for bragging about it too much. I saw a douche bag last night. I was at a drug store and I saw that the literally sold "douche bags," I didn't think they still made them. Also, I saw the biggest pair of manboobs I'd ever seen. If it didn't have a beard, I 'd have sworn it was an ugly fat woman. Quite a night last night.