Miscellaneous: Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 18:47 - United Kingdom - Barry

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 920

You deserved it 3 017

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Same thing different taste

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 422

You deserved it 40 437

By bully slayer - 12/12/2018 10:00 - Philippines - Pasay City

Today, in the absence of my god-daughter's parents, I went in their place to see her elementary school's principal. She apparently stood up to a known bully's violence and retaliated, sending said bully to the hospital. Not only she may be facing expulsion, I may get sued by the bully's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 989

You deserved it 213

By me - 13/01/2011 20:48 - United States

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 191

You deserved it 7 773

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 3 456

By asshalf15 - 25/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Hacienda Heights

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 496

You deserved it 4 412

By bbbbb - 14/10/2012 05:29 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 291

You deserved it 1 894

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 12:41

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 100

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 289

Evil child

By little_star78 - 13/11/2013 11:08 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 184

You deserved it 3 602

By sara - 17/09/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 253

You deserved it 10 455

imseksie 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:37

She got balls..

Il_Maestro 6

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:37

Apparently that was strike three.

Comments

Quinn32 16

Thursday 31 May 2012 4:35

Um just because it got her expelled does not mean it did not also make her cool. It is not either or so she still may have succeeded in her goal.

zach8771 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 4:56

How many did she knock down?

stormchaser24 24

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:15

How the hell do you get a bowling ball in the school?

CCNC 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:23

Why did she have a bowling ball at school?

pandaRanda 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:38

I don't know. I would say its badass

pandaRanda 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:40

The herb man. It's cool.

hateevryone 14

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:43

Where did the bowling ball come from? You need to whoop her.

Klug_fml 7

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:47

...So did she bring the bowling ball to school or was there a bowling ball already in the school?

merrielp 13

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:59

Nice

ma12r 22

Thursday 31 May 2012 6:19

kids these days with their crazy shenanigans and what not.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 60 102

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 147

The Top

Today, I attempted to fix a leaky tap in my bathroom. Instead, I somehow managed to trigger a water feature reminiscent of one of those Disney park rides, turning my bathroom into a splash zone for my two dogs while I frantically tried to shut it all off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 220

Today, I decided to be nice and do the laundry for the whole family. Apparently, all the guys in the family have skid marks on both the back AND THE FRONT of their underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 130

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 018

You deserved it 4 333

Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 116

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 2 696

Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 244

You deserved it 289

Same thing different taste

Whack-a-Mole

Evil child

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