Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, in the absence of my god-daughter's parents, I went in their place to see her elementary school's principal. She apparently stood up to a known bully's violence and retaliated, sending said bully to the hospital. Not only she may be facing expulsion, I may get sued by the bully's parents. FML
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
imseksie 0
She got balls..
Il_Maestro 6
Apparently that was strike three.
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Comments (217)
Ilikeurfmls 13
She shouldn't care if other people think she's "cool".
cuddlebunny3548 11
Where did she get a bowling ball from in the middle of school?
unknown_user5566 27
You mean your school didn't have a room dedicated to bowling balls? Weird.
schuckmankatie 0
Your kid is a beast!
m1989_fml 10
Trace and Julie?!?!
Alex1014 0
How can u bring a bowling ball to school?
t765234 10
Would she start throwing balls of marijuana down the stairs during lunch rush?
gionatorinc 5
Wait, is anyone else wondering why the heck did she have a bowling ball in school???
unknown_user5566 27
No, because the rest of us read the FML. She had a bowling ball in school so she could throw it down the stairs.
Briiyahh 7
Strike 3!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Uh...you "snuck out" of work to pick up your dumb daughter who got expelled for stupid behavior? WHY? I would have made her sit on her ass until you got off work and picked her up. Why would you sneak out of work? Did you not tell your boss? Were you not allowed to leave? I can't come up with any reason for why this would be okay. Also, your daughter is a destructive idiot and needs to stop watching so much TV if she thought throwing a bowling ball downstairs would make her look cool. How old is she, anyway? Surely old enough to know better if she can lift a bowling ball...
unknown_user5566 27
Be happy she took the non-traditional route in her attempt to be cool. When I was in high school, it seemed that every girl trying to be popular just slept around. I'd rather have a daughter with an explusion on her record, than a daughter who makes me a grandmother too soon!