Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
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Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
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Comments (280)
star98leach 0
Im so glad that by the time my brothers old enough to do "alone time" I will be out of the house especially since I'm the one that does the laundry
ashyash90 8
Well...I feel that's kind of a normal part of raising a son....
Lexibishop 0
gross!!!!
Lucky78_fml 4
That had to suck for both you and him!
tifsuz 9
My son is 12 - I feel your pain. Thankfully he just seems fond of realllllly long showers.
HU4L188 0
It could've been a wet dream, not his fault... Or not, but if my mom did that to me, i would shit myself
Lexibishop 0
why the hell are u doing his lawndry im 13 i do my own. its sad that u do it for him!!!
HussREC 6
wouldnt that be during his sleep? i dont see how you can have "alone time" with your pajamas on
HannahWho 8
Pop it out the top of the waist band?
ballshardnigMC 2
Lol u should help him out one day
tommymc11 0
Today I had to have a sit down with my mom. She noticed my pajamas were a little "crispy" and asked me to use tissue from now on. I'm 13 and have wet dreams on occasion so I can't help it. FML