Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
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Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
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Comments (280)
vocaloidtiger 12
Don't be surprised if he kind of avoids you for a while or looks uncomfortable around you.. That was probably meant to remain his secret.. Just saying.
Crackers25 0
Lol what a baller.
HannahWho 8
Or, and this might seem like a shot in the dark, you could have just told him he is now going to do his own laundry. By 13 I was doing my own chores, so it might have been less embarrassing to have just told your son that he is a big boy and needs to start learning some life skills. That way no one would have had to breech the unspoken rule of parents ignore when their son masturbates.
RedPillSucks 33
Tell him to stop putting bacon in his pants. At least not the crispy kind. And definitely no Krispy Cream!
starburst7596 14
Why are you doing your 13 year old sons laundry?
killakiwi 1
Wow what an asshole of a mother you are!, Deal with it just throw the PJ's into the wash and let it be.
MommaSmurf 0
Right now I'm thinking I'm glad I only have daughters.
eddyg94 11
yeah, but that comes with a whole host of other problems!
ExToRtiOn 0
Don't forget the lotion
NickHutch12345 0
My girlfriends 10 year old brother jerks off now that's too young
HannahWho 8
Studies have shown most children perform some form of masturbation at a young age. 10 is not too young as long as he is not doing it compulsively or in awkward places. Keep the Puritan Guilt out of his development. Let him explore in a safe way, as opposed to having sex and knocking up a fellow fifth grader.
yoyowe 4
What about me I'm not too young. I started at 7 or 8
monagro 22
Why? tissues are much worse. They get soggy, stick to your hands, etc. Tell him to use a dirty pair of boxers instead.