Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
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Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
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Comments (280)
ilovedinosawers 17
More like F his Life
Bella_is_my_name 4
ew, oh my goodness :s
YOUSOCK 10
Why Is a 13 year old still in pajamas??
HannahWho 8
So he should sleep naked?
Isa_fml 20
uh. what?
HannahWho 8
@Isa: Is the "uh.what?" directed at me? Also, since when is there an age limit to pajamas. It doesn't mean he is wearing kitten pjs. My grown father wears Pjs. I wear Pjs. Everyone sleeps in some form of sleeping clothes, even if its your boxers.
furlifenotmine 0
tell him to use a sock lol
taminak 4
No, this is his fml. Your role as parent is to support and guide him through all the trials of becoming a man, and not spread the gory details of his life.
Colbertrox811 5
He's a boy. They'll do that.
emilyissutee 0
pussy..
ballshardnigMC 2
I lick that
BaileySt4 5
Wait, lemme guess what followed this: awkward silence maybe???
guitar_god7007 3
Geez, that's gotta be embarrassing for him. I would know too, I accidentally left my computer on and some tabs up when I was 13. :/ I Wouldn't mention it to him again.
hahaha1699 0
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