Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
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Top comments
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Mom of the year right there.
Senseless_487 29
I wonder how many guys she'll drunkenly try to convince are the father.
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Comments (160)
tranced_ 45
alcohol is bad but how is getting a tattoo that much of a problem?
how_to_implode 17
Tattoos aren't recommended during pregnancy because they increase your risk of getting an infection. Not by a ton, but enough for you to want to think twice.
Enslaved 36
Tattoos have risks. They won't even allow you to donate blood if you've been recently tattooed.
conqueror57 11
Tattoos increase a woman's chance of contracting hepatitis which is passable to the baby.
how_to_implode 17
This makes me physically hurt.
jigsawboy 6
Maybe she will grow up to be like Miley Cyrus
Kateyez_26 13
Oh god, not Miley Cyrus!
Mauskau 35
She definitely isn't ready to have a kid and she is going to screw up the child's life. I would advise a trip down the stairs.
heliophobia 13
People like this woman are the reason I have no faith in humanity.
EmmaMK 35
She is going to need all the help you can give her. Does she realise how she got pregnant!
ffffffffck 13
Submissions like these irritate me. This isn't yours to share . It's someone else's struggle, poor decision making and (possible) terrible consquences you're putting up on the internet for everyone to see and judge. In what respect is YOUR life f'ed? Here's two helpful tips how to handle the situation, both of them better than putting it on FML: you can turn a blind eye and go your merry way (problem solved, douchebag-way) or you try to find ways to make the situation better and influence her in a good way (this is the kind way). Take care! I hope everything will turn out alright.
Duoceros 22
Wow sounds like OP's friend should be considering an abortion. I mean if she's more concerned about drinking and getting tattoos than she is about living a lifestyle conducive to being a half-way decent mother why is she even considering becoming a mother.
Dark_Stream 29
OP shouldn't beat herself up over her friend's foolishness. (Unless OP is the father!) Help her get the best unbiased information and advice about her rights, responsibilities and options. Then it's up the the friend to do the right thing.
4x4kid 7
Some people will never be ready to bare a child