Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
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Top comments
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Mom of the year right there.
Senseless_487 29
I wonder how many guys she'll drunkenly try to convince are the father.
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Comments (160)
SystemofaBlink41 27
Skyler? Is that you??
Dinonick 15
The best way to top that off is say she is 16.
sanecatlady 13
This is why I think people need a license to have kids. You need one to catch a fish, for crying out loud!
morzMORdruh 3
she'll be hard pressed to find a tattoo artist to do any work on her while she's drunk.
worldclassrager 39
She can get the tat just don't get drunk...
allplayedout 20
You need to explain to your friend that a month in is hardly too late to take a trip to the clinic and nip this in the bud. She does NOT need to subject this baby to the myriad problems her lifestyle will cause, and the huge issues forever after if she decides to keep it.
ismellbacon 1
nip this is the bud? as in, kill the baby? we're not talking about an argument or overdue bills. callous, much?
melody309 35
No, the expression "nip this in the bud" means to stop something quickly, before it becomes a major problem (here, it means to stop the expectant mother's unhealthy habits before they seriously harm her child). No one's talking about killing the baby here. :)
Autumnsbeing 9
Abortion is not "killing a baby". You can't kill something when it's not alive! A few sigarettes and a few glasses of wine does not damage a foetus (spread over nine months that is)
WasabiMars 21
Smoking is bad. Second hand smoking for a developing fetus is worse.
laugh_live_love 2
Oh man. YOUR life doesn't suck. The life of that unborn child is gonna suck though. I was going to say that your pregnant friend's life might suck, but I guess ignorance is bliss when you don't give a shit? For her at least, I'm sure her ignorance is not so blissful for people around her though .
xxVampiresRulexx 14
I feel bad for the child and hope they are born with no side affects due to her reckless behavior.
Gangsterrface 10
Way to start motherhood ! I hate women that do things they're not supposed to while they're pregnant. That's selfish.