Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
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Top comments
gaemergorl69 1
which hole lmao
manb91gb 15
Was this before or after licking your nipple?
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Comments (11)
manb91gb 15
Was this before or after licking your nipple?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Never expose your weak points to your cat. They'll get you there eventually.
mfranks19891989 10
Your cat must be a boy, he loves to play with your lady parts
manb91gb 15
Nah, Pussycats are all like that
gaemergorl69 1
which hole lmao
anRNsLife 11
That’s gross.
Graham Capstick 2
Did he felch your hotdog bap as well
ojosRojos 28
Exciting for who?? O_O
oldtimer 3
Your “hole”? Are you ten years old??
Duc du V. 23
Did she sing "what's new Pussycat ?"
Kaneki Chiaki 15
That's disgusting.