Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
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Top comments
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Mom of the year right there.
Senseless_487 29
I wonder how many guys she'll drunkenly try to convince are the father.
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Comments (160)
katie1989 9
Its not a bright side but maybe they meant it as, atleast there wont be a child to abuse and neglect if it is never born
StonedClown 5
your a peice of motherfucking shit
katie1989 9
I never said that, I was clarifying what someone else said. Thanks though.
nnnope 26
146: whose comment were you clarifying??? there's a "reply" button for a reason.
villain1987 1
People like that shouldn't be allowed to have kids
Retrokitty 9
Goodness. Deciding to keep a child means deciding to put them first over yourself.
ChawanKiti 15
I don't understand how people can be so stupid about pregnancy and not know the things that could potentially hurt the child.
CrazyGirlfriend 21
she could very well know but not care. :(
ViviMage 39
If she wants the baby she needs a reality check. Booze and smoking is BAD for fetal brain cells. Does she want a dead kid, a kid with fetal alcohol syndrome? A kid with ADHD issues?
TwistedCherub1 15
My brother has ADHD and my mom doesn't drink or smoke (I was 14 and with her every day since she was so large she could barely get around--petite woman, ten pound baby). There are plenty of valid, proven arguments against smoking/drinking while pregnant. Using unsubstantiated theories weakens your point.
glitterkuro 18
Uh wow. Kids with ADHD and other issues are not always the product of the parent doing something wrong during pregnancy. I get what you're saying but equating the baby dying with the baby having ADHD or saying that no parents would 'want' a kid who has ADHD is kinda gross.
deloria_fml 22
Actually, first trimester drinking has fewer adverse effects than people think. It's not until much later that permanent damage can be caused, and judging from OP's post, she's one month pregnant. If that were not the case, there would be far more people with permanent damage due to future mothers drinking excessively before realising they were pregnant.
katie1989 9
Actually the most damage done by drinking happens in the first trimester, before women even know theyre pregnant. Your facts are fAlse
Kiki242 19
Its one thing to have a drink. However getting wasted is just asking for trouble. Is it really worth the risk?
SneakyChick1722 14
I have worked NICU, Peds, Labor and Delivery, Postpartum and Ante-partum.I have seen these type of babies.So what this mother wants to do is going to cause her fetus when it is born to be SGA, have develop mental problems, under developed organs as well as be in the NICU for a few weeks to months. But she is right having a drink here and there doesn't hurt the fetus. Binge drinking does harm the fetus however.
DocBastard 38
Deloria - The first trimester is when all the organs are forming, so do you really think bathing the fetus in alcohol would be good for it?
how_to_implode 17
Yeah, it's the exact opposite. First trimester is more crucial, a SMALL amount of alcohol (think wine) is okay in the later months. That's what the French do.
sourgirl101 28
My doctor advised me to start taking prenatal vitamins before I even got pregnant with my planned second child. Setting up the developing foundation is key! Then he joked that I should "only" get drunk on my due date. I didn't!! He was a very relaxed pleasant person to deliver my baby.
olpally 32
She should have to go through an application process before she breeds with anyone. My god.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Beat some sense into her... Be careful around the belly though
Nvjds 12
This is why abortion is legal
kinky44 28
Adoption too. Glad that you jump to killing off the kid instead of letting a responsible person raise it.
Pandacupcakelove 26
You can't really call it killing off a kid. It's a fetus with no emotions and no thoughts, it's not a baby yet. All you are doing is taking away a potential life, which is just the same as taking birth control pills or using a condom. And I don't think it's a bad idea to never give birth to a child if that child would have to live with a lot of damages and pain all because of their stupid mom who couldn't lay off the alcohol for a couple of months.
Enslaved 36
No brain waves activity is a sign of death. I guess some don't view it also as a sign of life.
SilverFoxx 19
What?
gAt_d 26
People like that really irritate me. I've met people that would do anything in the world to get pregnant and raise a child, but couldn't. Ops friend needs to straighten the **** up and realize it's not about her anymore! You have to do what's best for that baby.
ravenh1979 13
I completely agree!! It makes me sick to my stomach, although I have 2 amazing boys and my husband has 4 from a previous marriage, we have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years. And I see stupid ass girls do things like that when God have given her the most precious thing in the world, it just makes me sick!! Smh