Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
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Top comments
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Mom of the year right there.
Senseless_487 29
I wonder how many guys she'll drunkenly try to convince are the father.
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Comments (160)
Cupcake_kid 5
More like **** the baby's life.
Mynamewontfi 40
I hope the kid turns out alright without complications and maybe your friend realizes how important it is to be more responsible.
Yogihuman 5
I feel sory for the next generation
taliamarek 4
I know someone like that.
eternal_malaise 10
Sex education classes need to cover important topics like how pregnancy negatively affects partying.
ArizonaCargo 3
Show her pictures of premature babies. Very sick babies. Inform her of what will happen (to her and her baby) if she doesn't get her shit together.
BeeHMC 9
That poor baby
giraffelovergirl 19
Who needs there child alive anyways?
mattyiscool123 26
This is not a joking matter
horneyhic 15
Be longer then that considering most reputable tattoo parlours make you sign a release saying your sober
HemoValencia 5
I wonder if this pregnant girl is the same one that tried convincing the drunk guy he had slept for 7months and it was his kid :p
glitterkuro 18
Um well probably not since she was 7 months pregnant and this woman has "at least eight months" left of her pregnancy. Unless she's having a weird 15 month long pregnancy.