Miscellaneous: Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's...

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 20:00

Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 440

You deserved it 822

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 443

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 990

You deserved it 32 359

Pincushion

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 23:00

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 2 028

By Xia - 18/10/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 773

You deserved it 16 144

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 065

You deserved it 4 389

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 180

Arse!

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 230

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 724

You deserved it 9 382

By fuck yuo - 01/09/2012 20:50 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 539

You deserved it 5 111

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 272

You deserved it 49 055

LittleRed79 39

Tuesday 16 May 2017 21:32

Looks like you've become a fixture around granny's house.

Exaspera 54

Tuesday 16 May 2017 20:34

Oh dear! I hope you tried nail polish remover to try to detach your fingers from the fan!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 16 May 2017 20:10

At first, I read "fanny." That would be worse, but not as bad as if I were also British.

Exaspera 54

Tuesday 16 May 2017 20:34

Oh dear! I hope you tried nail polish remover to try to detach your fingers from the fan!

LittleRed79 39

Tuesday 16 May 2017 21:32

Looks like you've become a fixture around granny's house.

Talented73 54

Tuesday 16 May 2017 21:41

You know that no good deed goes unpunished.

Lalala579121 27

Tuesday 16 May 2017 22:39

Instructions unclear, hand glued to ornate fan.

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 16 May 2017 22:53

You did a fantastic job there. Keep it up.

WTF STFU 3

Wednesday 17 May 2017 19:09

Good thing you were not using your dong for a third hand.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Parents Kids School Education Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

The Top

Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 777

Today, I found out my husband has been "cheating" on me with some girl from Russia that he has to pay for regularly. This explains why he never has any money, he's actually dumb enough to be scammed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 180

You deserved it 224

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 951

You deserved it 7 494

Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 920

You deserved it 249

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 362

You deserved it 8 252