By Anonymous - South Africa
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
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  MrsDruidess  |  23

she wont ever learn too either, this is going to be a long long struggle for OP :-(
My father in law ruined a video of my son walking by saying loudly how shitty he thought my nephew was. It's been an issue getting him to stop openly preferring the 1st grandson over the 2nd. So now I cant even share the video with the family or it will start a huge family wide fight. good luck OP

  okokalright  |  15

Try to cheer your daughter up OP. A real parent is a person who loves, supports, and cares for the child. It doesn't matter if you're not the biological parent. What your mom said was really insensitive

  Mons_fml  |  27

can use the track from 2001: a space odyssey. from when the early humans start using tools in front of the monolith. as he rises up and starts walking.


Yeah ^-^ one of my friends and her brother are adopted. She loved that fact and when asked why, would respond "everyone else's parents were stuck with whatever kid they had. My mother CHOSE us!"

I feel all adopted kids should see it this way. Their parents put a lot of time and effort into finding and jumping through the necessary hoops to bring their adopted child home. Of course they love the children that they choose.

  heirofhope  |  38

I know what you mean, but it's hard for her to do that. She just heard herself get rejected by her grandmother for her new sibling, which is going to be hard enough for her already. If she can't feel like she's been accepted into the family she's always going to see herself as different, isolated, and unloved. What OP's mother did was extremely wrong and damaging.

  jordanlite  |  16

Coming from an adopted kid who has heard that over and over again, it's not absorbed the way it's meant to. Even as a little kid when people would say that crap to me I would picture my parents looking through a catalog of kids and would think "thank goodness I was pretty enough/cute enough/whatever enough for them to pick me." It doesn't make a kid feel like they belong, it makes them feel like they were picked because of some feature that made them attractive to their parents.

  teentee401  |  36

^^^This. My (adopted) sister is almost 12 and she is still insecure about being adopted and sometimes doubts she's part of the family. The grandma is a a total bitch for saying or even thinking such a thing.

  Sammeydw  |  22

Or any family at all. There are way too many kids that have no idea of what a family is. Because they have never had one, and many of the people they trust haven't had a family either.

By  amileah13  |  26

Wow what a shitty thing to say in front of her I feel so awful for your daughter.

  amileah13  |  26

Yeah, I agree. It's obvious for however long she has had her daughter, the grandmother was thinking this all along. I can't even imagine what she's going through and feeling. I hope this gets an update, I'd love to know how op and ops daughter is doing.